Hoping to get your perspective on fairness and equality as it seems to be a big theme with my daughter. Everything these days is about feeling upset because so and so has something that is different from hers. For example, her sister’s cup of water is more full than hers, her sister gets to ride a scooter and she has a bike, Mommy's costume came earlier than hers, it goes on and on and on sometimes with big tantrums. We have been validating her feelings around it but we want to understand why she always feels cheated somehow that what she has is not as good as someone else. Also what language should we be using to help her through this?
Help! My 18mo hates wearing clothes and my 4.5yo doesn't know her letters. Is this normal?
How do I get my 4 year old to do anything without consequences?
1. How do I get my 4 year old to do anything without consequences?
Such as “if you don’t clean up your toys they will go away, if you don’t put your shoes on you will not come to the birthday party” etc..
2. Regarding rewards, he is having a regression with using the toilet since I started potty training my little one, so I am offering him rewards for days he stays dry to encourage him to not pee his pants. Am I doing it all wrong?
What is the best way to explain to my 4yo son that he is adopted and he has two moms?
As you know my son is adopted and we do yearly visits with his biological parents. Last year we did FaceTime because of COVID but this year we will do it in person with the precautions needed for everybody to be safe of course. He is now about to be 4 and we have always spoken about adoption openly in the house as we don’t keep it a secret. I asked him if he remembered ( let’s refer to bio dad as XYZ and bio mom as ABC ) and he said, “who is XYZ and ABC?” I don’t know what wording to use for him to understand. I have told him that he grew in ABC’s tummy like his brother grew in mine but that’s about it. I get stuck on how to continue the explanation.
When my child says they're scared and won't go to bed, what's really happening?
When I put my daughter down last night we went through our typical routine but she kept asking when dad would be home from his run and when he would come kiss her goodnight. As soon as I got in the rocking chair (I sit in it until she falls asleep) she started saying "I'm scared, I'm scared" on repeat. She couldn't tell me what she was scared of just that she wanted me to lay in her bed.
Should I push my son to do more academically although he already does well?
One of my boys is extremely dedicated with his school work. My other one just wants to finish quickly to get it over with. I don’t want to compare (and never do) but the one that only dedicates very short time to school projects and homework says it is good enough for him. I don’t want to pressure him because his notes are good but I know he can do better if he dedicates more time because he has the potential. Should I leave him alone?
My 1st grader is anxious and doesn't want to go to school. Would a "worry stone" help?
His start in the new (old) big public school was not very ideal.
We got quarantined only 2 days into the new school year and when he got back after 10 days we were not allowed to walk him to the classroom anymore (only allowed in the first week). He says he is super scared to walk to his classroom by himself (it’s about 75ft from the entrance). He also says he hates 1st grade, his life, it’s so hard etc…
I started to do the body scan again to sleep and help him calm his body and I also bought him a “worry stone” he can carry in his pocket and touch when he gets anxious. What do you think?
My daughter is having a hard time fitting in with a new group of schoolmates. How should I help her?
How can I better handle my kid having a difficult time with friends in school? My daughter changed classes and the majority of her closest friends are in the other class. Before school started we talked about how good of an opportunity it would be to get to know some of the other students (girls) a bit better while still keeping old friendships. It doesn’t happen every day but she has been complaining about how it’s been hard to fit in and how the other girls seem to not like her. How should I help her?
My daughters only want to have plans with their friends and nothing with the family. How do I shift this?
My daughter wants to have play dates every weekend with her friends, which sometimes is not possible. She gets very upset and feels like doing things with the family is not "enough'. Even for my other daughter, every time we tell them we are doing something they ask "with who?" If the answer is just with us (the family) they both say they don't want to go. How do I shift this?
My teen doesn't want to have friends over. Is this normal? Also, is there a benefit to an all boys school for my teen?
My older one is 13, all honor classes and smart. He is very athletic and social but he does not like to have friends over. He had several play dates in our house before but lately (besides the amount of hw he gets) he is not interested in having over neither his school friends or soccer friends from the club he has been at for the last 5 years. Should I be concerned?
Also, is there a benefit to an all boys school?
Should I be worried that my 4.5yo daughter is counting everything? Is it OCD??
I have noticed that my daughter has been doing a lot of counting, like pulling out the toilet paper and saying 1,2,3,4 1/2 (b/c of course she is 4 1/2) then stopping and doing it for other things too like when she has to get out of the bath.
I dealt with some OCD in my teen years and of course my mama bear red flag goes up when I witness this. Any thoughts on this and when it should be concerning?
How can I teach my son to prioritize academics the way he prioritizes sports?
One of my kids is extremely responsible and dedicated to school work. The other one is not but I am leaving him alone because his grades are good and he is social and active with sports. But what if, in the future, his grades drop because he prioritizes his soccer and social life above academics? He is a key player and star of his team and works so hard at it that he got promoted to be in a higher level and a more competitive team. What is the appropriate consequence, besides the bad grade, in this situation?
How important are grades at school and what is my role as a parent?
I have a question about the importance of grades/struggles in school. The girls are in third grade which I know is a big jump academically from second. They have always both been straight A students and have never struggled. This year is so different. We are already in the process of getting one of my daughters a psycho-ed eval after her ADHD diagnosis so that may explain her struggles but now her sister is also struggling; both with reading comprehension-cold reads. We have parent teacher conferences this week but at what point do I need to get them extra help or be concerned?
My son is telling me untrue stories. Should I be worried about him lying?
I have read up and listened to your previous videos on lying. My son rarely lies and when he does I use your response and he gets it. Lately he has been telling me tall tales about things that have happened at school. For example, “my teacher had a nerf gun that shot out real bullets that she heated up in a tiny oven and then she shot them up in the air. It was amazing mom”. The entire story is clearly just a story but he really wants me to believe him. Sometimes I’ll text his teacher just to be sure but every time it’s just something he’s made up. Do I pretend to believe him? What is his goal?
How do I explain death to my 4yo?
A very dear friend of mine died by suicide last week. My 4yo daughter who is obsessed with death, saw me crying yesterday during his memorial service and afterwards. She wanted to know why I was crying and I told her that my friend had died and told her some stories about him and times that she had been with him too. Then she wanted details…
My newborn doesn't seem to have a sleep rhythm. Is this normal??
We are trying to adapt to new life with two. My son is actually doing great. I wanted to ask you about my 2 month old. He has bad colic. On Monday I started him on Pepcid. He would cry for hours. Now he is doing better but we still have the witching hour from 7-10. The routine I have with him for bed is: warm bath with lavender oil then bottle and he is supposed to go to sleep but he stays awake. He goes to sleep around 10pm, wakes to eat again at 12am-1am to then wake again at 4am then 6am and then 8am. The 6am feeding is breastfed. Then he gets a bottle during the day. He eats about 4-5oz every 2-3 hours. I feel like I can’t get on any type of schedule with him. My older son, at this age, had a schedule at least to eat. My newborn is all over the place I feel. Any advice?
My daughter takes forever to get ready in the morning! How can I make it better?
My daughter stalls so much in everything she does. This morning she took so much time to prepare for school (as always) we told her she wouldn't be going to her friend's bday tomorrow - something she's been really excited about for some time. It's all arranged and I feel really bad for her, but now do I have to stick to it or can I negotiate to get her to help us more?
My son seems irritated by my tone or when I celebrate him. Why?!
Why is it that my son doesn’t like for me to respond to anything positively?
For example, If I say something is “cute” he responds with “Don’t say that word!!!” OR if I celebrate something (without being loud), “don’t do that mama! I don’t like it when you do a happy dance!!!!” OR sometimes it’s the most random thing like “ok guys it’s time to take a bath!” He responds with “WHY do you say it like that???! I know we have to take a bath! But don’t say it like that!”
This has been happening for months but lately it seems to be happening more often. Did he turn 13 all of a sudden?
My daughter leans on anxious and is having potty accidents. How can I help her?
We are currently dealing with running to the bathroom every 5-10 mins saying she has to go pee and nothing coming out. This happened about a year ago and it was resolved but this time she is actually having many accidents a day and soaking through her underwear. I am pretty sure it's not happening at school but have a note to her teachers to confirm. When I ask her about it she says "I was having too much fun playing” or “I was too cozy in bed to get up" which makes me think she is in control of it but sometimes it happens 4 times in an hour.
How much should I help my kids with their homework or projects?
I want to follow up on what you said about homework and not helping the kids.
My girls always have questions and things they don't understand and I have to help them. They are also doing a science project that they would not be able to do without my help.
Is it best to let them fail, not turn in assignments and not help them at all?
It seems extreme and I obviously do not want them to fail........what are your thoughts?