Question
I joined the membership because my boys are starting their teenage years and I feel this is the time when I need support. My two boys have always been good, responsible-polite boys, no issues, very resilient to all changes and situations (we moved different times).
My two questions:
1) My older one is 13, all honor classes and smart. He is very athletic and social but he does not like to have friends over. He had several play dates in our house before but lately (besides the amount of hw he gets) he is not interested in having over neither his school friends or soccer friends from the club he has been at for the last 5 years. My younger one is the opposite and loves having friends over. (My older one has no problems playing with his brother's younger friends). Is this ok? Or should I be concerned?
2) Since we are researching high schools for my 13yo and he has always attended private Catholic school, we are leaning towards that because they do well and that is what they are used to and they would like to continue with the same structure.
My question is, would it be ok to go to an all boys school?
The reason for asking is because they don’t have any sisters or female cousins and the only girl interaction is at school. Sending them to an all boy school, I am afraid I would be depriving my boys from being exposed to girls and I feel it is important. Please help!!!
Answer
There are other teen parents in the group. No worries. Your questions are valid, ask away.
1 ) This is fine. No need to be concerned. Some teens keep their home a sanctuary of calm and their "space to chill". Is his personality more laid back and observant? If that is the case then even more so. Those personalities who lean on introverted will not create new ways to be social. They are social in the spaces they have to be social (school, sports, etc) and then home becomes their place to relax and take time for themselves.
2) Single gender school does not hurt or benefit boys. They keep studying this for boys and they have found no good and/or bad outcomes. The task for a parent is to give them the opportunity to be social in other settings with the other gender. In Miami, Belen hangs out with Carrollton and Lourdes girls. Columbus hangs out with Lourdes girls. They set up parties and activities on their own. I recommend going to the open house of ALL the high schools. See where your gut tells you it's a good setting.
FYI: for those of you reading this with girls and thinking about ALL girls schools. The girls do benefit from all girl schools. Only because it takes away the IMPLICIT BIAS of teachers who have been studied to give more time and attention to boys speaking in the classroom than girls. Girls have to work twice as hard to be called on.