Question
Back in February, I had mentioned my son’s nervous tics. It did get much better, but since we are back from the summer trip it started again and now it’s really intense, he does the thing with the neck and also blinks his eyes.
His start in the new (old) big public school was not very ideal.
We got quarantined only 2 days into the new school year and when he got back after 10 days we were not allowed to walk him to the classroom anymore (only allowed in the first week). He says he is super scared to walk to his classroom by himself (it’s about 75ft from the entrance). He also says he hates 1st grade, his life, it’s so hard etc…
I started to do the body scan again to sleep and help him calm his body and I also bought him a “worry stone” he can carry in his pocket and touch when he gets anxious. My husband thinks this specific stone idea is just BS and would just make him addicted to something - what do you think?
Any other advice for us to help him navigate another change in his life?
He has only been in 1st grade now for 6 days (even though it’s week 4 of school already) - so I guess we still have the remaining 30 days that it takes for the transition, right? Thank you
Answer
Love love love the stone idea.
WHY? It reminds him to calm his body and to know he is safe which is what he is dealing with. Today, he touches a stone to practice managing his anxious responses.
When he is 32 that stone becomes his internal knowledge of calming down.
He is practicing calming his anxiety. He can't "ignore it".
He has to accept he is anxious. Then manage the anxiety.
You are being very respectful and yes, wait another 30 some days before we can truly say this is an issue.
For right now, your son has to manage his anxious responses and that is why he "hates the building". It is there that his anxiety kicks in.
1- Don't avoid school, no matter what - get consistent about going to school
2- Continue body scanning at night.
3- Tell him you know that today it's hard to walk to the classroom alone but you know it will get easier.
4- Remind him that the stone helps him remember to scan his body and calm his heart because you are sure he is safe at school and all he has to learn to do is work on calming his body.