Question
My daughter has had an interesting week as I threw my back out on Sunday and have pretty much been in bed all week. My husband and my mom, who was visiting, pretty much did everything. My daughter kept checking on me, drawing me pictures, bringing me stuffies, etc and I just kept telling her mommy will be fine as I don't want her to worry. When I was with her this week and honestly I noticed it a bit before, I saw that she was doing a lot of counting, like pulling out the toilet paper and saying 1,2,3,4 1/2 (b/c of course she is 4 1/2) then stopping and doing it for other things too like when she has to get out of the bath.
I dealt with some OCD in my teen years and of course my mama bear red flag goes up when I witness this. Any thoughts on this and when it should be concerning?
Answer
This is called "auditory stimming" and it's common. Everyone stims in some form, twirling hair, cracking knuckles, biting/tapping a pen, are all forms of stimming.
Why does it happen? It is a way for the nervous system to find calm and balance.
Do we worry? Maybe. You are still working on helping her manage her emotional tolerance and learning to calm her body when alert and afraid. There needs to be more time given to this.
What can you do when you catch it? Gently say, "I can tell that you are concentrating because I hear you counting. You know what's another way to concentrate, breathe slowly."
BUT I do always always respect Mommy Gut, so one evaluation you can do now at the age of 4 is with an occupational therapist to see how she is doing with sensory integration and emotional regulation. If they recommend sessions, do them. No matter what, that is the best practice at her age with the added work you are doing in being clear and helping her manage her emotions.