Adolescent

My 15yo is completely unmotivated for school. How can I help them through this?

Good morning, my 15 y/o is completely unmotivated for school. He gets good grades easily but his grades are starting to decline from A’s and B’s to D’s. Aside from this he is going through low confidence moods. It’s not always but enough to make me worry. What can we do to guide him through this?

My 6th grader was called out for unwanted behavior at school. How do I handle this?

I received a call from my daughter’s school reporting that she kept touching another girl's hair during PE. My daughter is in 6th grade in a new school. According to the school it was happening frequently and the girl asked my daughter to stop and she didn’t. They talked to both girls and their parents. My daughter cried and explained to them she was not being malicious and that she was just playing. How do I help her through this?

How do we speak to our child about touching private parts so that they feel safe and open with us enough to share?

Our child has had two incidents at school in the past two weeks that we are very concerned about. The first time they exposed themself at dismissal to their classmates after being dared by others. The second time they were sitting in a circle with their peers and reached a hand up another child’s shorts. The child was very alarmed and upset of course.
There is no open access to the internet. We are starting to look at the time that has spent on FaceTime with the best friend that moved away.
Could this other child have been exposed and shared this with our child?
How do we speak to our child about this so that they feel safe and open with us enough to share?

How can I help and support my 12-year-old with phone addiction?

I would like to have an approach that is collaborative with her and empowering rather than punishment based, or forced... Help!

My 13yo has become very challenging. How do I discipline them?

My 13 yo has been very challenging at home and at school.  When he does not show appropriate behavior, I start to put restrictions on the phone/take away the phone.  However, I feel like this is being done daily to the point sometimes he says he doesn’t care (but really he does). 

Any suggestions ?

My son wants to switch schools with only 2 years left. Is that smart?

My older son is going to High School next year. My younger son (in 6th grade) does not want to stay in the same school he currently is in. Do you think I am doing the right thing giving him the opportunity to look into another option or should I just keep him where he is for the next two years of middle school?

My kids do not want to spend time with their visiting grandparents. How do I handle this?

I am not sure how to handle this situation. My parents are visiting from my country. They are here for two weeks and are thrilled to spend time with my kids. My kids are not so thrilled to spend time with them as during the pandemic, my kids got used to socializing with their friends on their iPads and phones. I set screen time limits in order for my kids to spend more time with their grandparents visiting but my kids are really not enjoying it. What do you recommend I do? It is sad for me to be in the middle of this situation….

Should I push my son to do more academically although he already does well?

One of my boys is extremely dedicated with his school work. My other one just wants to finish quickly to get it over with. I don’t want to compare (and never do) but the one that only dedicates very short time to school projects and homework says it is good enough for him. I don’t want to pressure him because his notes are good but I know he can do better if he dedicates more time because he has the potential. Should I leave him alone?

My teen doesn't want to have friends over. Is this normal? Also, is there a benefit to an all boys school for my teen?

My older one is 13, all honor classes and smart. He is very athletic and social but he does not like to have friends over. He had several play dates in our house before but lately (besides the amount of hw he gets) he is not interested in having over neither his school friends or soccer friends from the club he has been at for the last 5 years. Should I be concerned?
Also, is there a benefit to an all boys school?

How do I decide if my 9yo should have a cell phone?

My 9yo daughter is generally a rule follower. Though we are at a more progressive school that discourages the use of social media and phones, it happens. Even some of the most like-minded parents have now allowed their kids to have a phone with limited texting, or facebook for kids, etc. My husband and I don't believe children should be on any screens when it can be helped, but now she is starting to feel left out. Where is the line between ”we choose the best values for our family“ and turning our kid into an outcast?

My teen is refusing to follow through on a commitment. How do I proceed?

I registered my 16yo to go on a mission trip. He originally agreed because his college counselor strongly suggested this camp since he is already working on personal statements for his college essay. He will be 17 next month and a Senior. Now that the time has come for him to go on the mission trip (this Sunday) he is refusing to go. What do you suggest I do in this situation? Should I continue to encourage/push him to go? Or do I let him win this battle? Please help!

My teen did a risky think on their own! Help!

Yesterday my teenaged daughter pierced her ear to put on another earring… She had told me a long time ago that she wanted to and I told her yes, that I also wanted to do it but we would do it later, that we could start with one of those that are like clips before we make a hole. It passed for a while, but a week ago she started not only wanting to get one, but that she wanted to do it HERSELF.

At a stand off with my teenager. Now what?

Question

What to we do with 17-year-old's and boundaries? Mine is not the easiest to control/contain. I know a standoff with him is not the best way. But here we are in a stand off...so now what? He's slacking in grades.... slacking in communication; meaning he's OTW at 11, but shows up at 1 AM. (Yes, once they are teenagers you go back to not sleeping). The best part is that at the same time he gets himself on a mission trip, participates in retreats and ranks in debate. So now what? Take away phone, social stuff, football, car?

Answer

Way to bring up a hard, but important question. School unfortunately is now up to him. My husband the high school teacher is really great at speaking to the kids about how they have to want to succeed more than him. I don't know if he would put it that way, but that is how I translate it. He lets them understand that in the end it is their education and he will be there when they are ready to take it. He is highly successful. So with school it's that conversation of letting him know why you feel he is failing himself rather than you/dad and that you hope he will live up to his goals/expectations.
Communication that's a hard one, but if you have set boundaries and rules then no car or phone seems valid. It's a result of his behavior and choices. That being said when a rule is continually broken in ANY age group we have to wonder why is it not working and in the teens years it's an opportunity to check in with them and have a conversation with them on why said rule is not working for them. I often am amazed at their answer when I ask a teen that question in front of their parents. Try it.