#potty

How do I get my 4 year old to do anything without consequences?

1. How do I get my 4 year old to do anything without consequences?
Such as “if you don’t clean up your toys they will go away, if you don’t put your shoes on you will not come to the birthday party” etc..

2. Regarding rewards, he is having a regression with using the toilet since I started potty training my little one, so I am offering him rewards for days he stays dry to encourage him to not pee his pants. Am I doing it all wrong?

My daughter leans on anxious and is having potty accidents. How can I help her?

We are currently dealing with running to the bathroom every 5-10 mins saying she has to go pee and nothing coming out. This happened about a year ago and it was resolved but this time she is actually having many accidents a day and soaking through her underwear. I am pretty sure it's not happening at school but have a note to her teachers to confirm. When I ask her about it she says "I was having too much fun playing” or “I was too cozy in bed to get up" which makes me think she is in control of it but sometimes it happens 4 times in an hour.

My son has a potty accident every day at school. What can we do?

He has had a potty accident at school every day. He is terrified of someone hearing him or seeing him ask to go to the bathroom so instead he just pees himself and then tries to carry on. We have tried to problem solve this with him. He has extra clothes, a special hand signal from his teacher as a reminder but still he is paralyzed with fear. He has also been very rigid, anxious and combative with his teacher and disruptive in the class. He refuses to participate in lessons. Today he was separated from the group after throwing an object at her.
What else can we do?