Question
A very dear friend of mine died by suicide last week. My 4yo daughter who is obsessed with death, saw me crying yesterday during his memorial service and afterwards. She wanted to know why I was crying and I told her that my friend had died and told her some stories about him and times that she had been with him too. Then she wanted details… “but mama, hoooooow did he die? What happened to him that he died????” My husband answered, “there was an accident and we don’t know the details yet”.
I’m not sure what to say about this one. I’ve run through lots of options but they all bring up so much that I simply don’t know what to say when she brings it back up. Which I know she will. I’d love the guidance.
Answer
Keep it simple and with the message that your friend had a hard time taking care of his brain and because of that his body stopped working.
She will then ask, “how do you take care of the brain, so her body doesn't break?” …or you can beat her to the punch and say:
This is why we make sure you:
1- Sleep - that makes your brain healthy
2- Run, Dance and Move - that makes your brain healthy
3 - Hug and spend time together being loving with each other - that makes your brain healthy
4- Eat vegetables and protein - that keeps your brain healthy
Short and sweet.
Also let her know that your tears and sadness are normal because he was your friend and you will miss him.