Parenting

Should I be worried that my 4.5yo daughter is counting everything? Is it OCD??

I have noticed that my daughter has been doing a lot of counting, like pulling out the toilet paper and saying 1,2,3,4 1/2 (b/c of course she is 4 1/2) then stopping and doing it for other things too like when she has to get out of the bath.
I dealt with some OCD in my teen years and of course my mama bear red flag goes up when I witness this. Any thoughts on this and when it should be concerning?

How can I teach my son to prioritize academics the way he prioritizes sports?

One of my kids is extremely responsible and dedicated to school work. The other one is not but I am leaving him alone because his grades are good and he is social and active with sports. But what if, in the future, his grades drop because he prioritizes his soccer and social life above academics? He is a key player and star of his team and works so hard at it that he got promoted to be in a higher level and a more competitive team. What is the appropriate consequence, besides the bad grade, in this situation?

How important are grades at school and what is my role as a parent?

I have a question about the importance of grades/struggles in school. The girls are in third grade which I know is a big jump academically from second. They have always both been straight A students and have never struggled. This year is so different. We are already in the process of getting one of my daughters a psycho-ed eval after her ADHD diagnosis so that may explain her struggles but now her sister is also struggling; both with reading comprehension-cold reads. We have parent teacher conferences this week but at what point do I need to get them extra help or be concerned?

My son is telling me untrue stories. Should I be worried about him lying?

I have read up and listened to your previous videos on lying. My son rarely lies and when he does I use your response and he gets it. Lately he has been telling me tall tales about things that have happened at school. For example, “my teacher had a nerf gun that shot out real bullets that she heated up in a tiny oven and then she shot them up in the air. It was amazing mom”. The entire story is clearly just a story but he really wants me to believe him. Sometimes I’ll text his teacher just to be sure but every time it’s just something he’s made up. Do I pretend to believe him? What is his goal?

How do I explain death to my 4yo?

A very dear friend of mine died by suicide last week. My 4yo daughter who is obsessed with death, saw me crying yesterday during his memorial service and afterwards. She wanted to know why I was crying and I told her that my friend had died and told her some stories about him and times that she had been with him too. Then she wanted details…

My newborn doesn't seem to have a sleep rhythm. Is this normal??

We are trying to adapt to new life with two. My son is actually doing great. I wanted to ask you about my 2 month old. He has bad colic. On Monday I started him on Pepcid. He would cry for hours. Now he is doing better but we still have the witching hour from 7-10. The routine I have with him for bed is: warm bath with lavender oil then bottle and he is supposed to go to sleep but he stays awake. He goes to sleep around 10pm, wakes to eat again at 12am-1am to then wake again at 4am then 6am and then 8am. The 6am feeding is breastfed. Then he gets a bottle during the day. He eats about 4-5oz every 2-3 hours. I feel like I can’t get on any type of schedule with him. My older son, at this age, had a schedule at least to eat. My newborn is all over the place I feel. Any advice?

My daughter takes forever to get ready in the morning! How can I make it better?

My daughter stalls so much in everything she does. This morning she took so much time to prepare for school (as always) we told her she wouldn't be going to her friend's bday tomorrow - something she's been really excited about for some time. It's all arranged and I feel really bad for her, but now do I have to stick to it or can I negotiate to get her to help us more?

My son seems irritated by my tone or when I celebrate him. Why?!

Why is it that my son doesn’t like for me to respond to anything positively?
For example, If I say something is “cute” he responds with “Don’t say that word!!!” OR if I celebrate something (without being loud), “don’t do that mama! I don’t like it when you do a happy dance!!!!” OR sometimes it’s the most random thing like “ok guys it’s time to take a bath!” He responds with “WHY do you say it like that???! I know we have to take a bath! But don’t say it like that!”
This has been happening for months but lately it seems to be happening more often. Did he turn 13 all of a sudden?

My daughter leans on anxious and is having potty accidents. How can I help her?

We are currently dealing with running to the bathroom every 5-10 mins saying she has to go pee and nothing coming out. This happened about a year ago and it was resolved but this time she is actually having many accidents a day and soaking through her underwear. I am pretty sure it's not happening at school but have a note to her teachers to confirm. When I ask her about it she says "I was having too much fun playing” or “I was too cozy in bed to get up" which makes me think she is in control of it but sometimes it happens 4 times in an hour.

How much should I help my kids with their homework or projects?

I want to follow up on what you said about homework and not helping the kids.

My girls always have questions and things they don't understand and I have to help them. They are also doing a science project that they would not be able to do without my help.
Is it best to let them fail, not turn in assignments and not help them at all?
It seems extreme and I obviously do not want them to fail........what are your thoughts?

My children are having tantrums when having to do something they don't want to do.

I need tips on how to deal with “don’t want to go to school today” or “don't want to go to sports, I'm tired' tantrums.
All they want to do (both of them) is stay on the couch, play Roblox or Minecraft.
How to convince them without threatening or forcing them to go?

My daughter has developed fear of the dark and being alone. Help!

My daughter has returned home with fear. This is a new one for us but it started at my moms house which she said was haunted. She was scared to be in various rooms by herself and would scream out of nowhere, or have dad hold her all night in his arms. Now that we are home she is also nervous to be alone.

My daughter's feelings go 0-60 in 2 seconds! Why?? How can I help her?

I know you always tell me not to pay too much attention to my daughter’s words but it’s super challenging. These days every time she gets frustrated or disappointed by anything she says “I hate you Mommy, you’re so stupid. You are the worst Mommy ever.”

Our dog is sick and might pass away. Should I include my children to say goodbye?

We’re in a very weird stage now as we don’t know how much longer our dog has with us.
I've been crying a whole lot lately and the kids know she’s not doing well. Tonight we dropped her off at the er and we don’t know if she’ll come back home though I’m hopeful.
We’ve been talking to the kids and answering their questions as best as we can... but if I’m being honest, I’d love some space to just be sad, which I tell them but I don't think they get it and I don’t know how to help them through this.

My son has been diagnosed with ADHD. Do I tell him and how?

After a long summer we finally got an evaluation from FIU that confirms that my son has ADHD and ODD. To be honest, even though I had a strong feeling he was going to be diagnosed with this, it's still a lot to swallow. So many thoughts come rushing into my head like:
- Will he be able to handle it and live a happy life?
- Is it my fault?
- Is there something I could have done differently?
- Will he be successful?

At what age do children understand charity work?

The school is promoting a solidarity campaign in which we are supposed to deliver boxes to needy families with some basic goods. Each member of the family should make an outline of their hand as a symbolic gesture of "giving someone a hand", but my 8yo daughter refuses to do it. She also complained that we never buy her the kinds of biscuits that are in the box. She of course is too young to understand the importance of this, but I got pretty disappointed because I was expecting her to engage. What should I expect at this age?

Do I let my child know that I check their devices?

I am starting to struggle a lot lately with my 11 year old boy. He has always been very affectionate with me and lately he has stopped doing it.
There is a girl at school with whom he talks with a lot on the iPad and that girl has a reputation for being a problem. He doesn't know that I get on his iPad (because he still doesn't have a phone) and check his conversations.

How do I help my daughter move away from thumb sucking?

My daughter (9.5) got an expander at the beginning of the summer and will get braces tomorrow! She is pretty nonchalant about all of it, but the orthodontist told us we need to cut out the thumb sucking.
She still sucks her thumb at night and sometimes but rarely in public as a self-soothing gesture (mostly when she is very tired). How can I help her move away from that?