question
We’re in a very weird stage now as we don’t know how much longer our dog has with us.
I've been crying a whole lot lately and the kids know she’s not doing well. Tonight we dropped her off at the er and we don’t know if she’ll come back home though I’m hopeful.
We’ve been talking to the kids and answering their questions as best as we can... but if I’m being honest, I’d love some space to just be sad, which I tell them but I don't think they get it and I don’t know how to help them through this.
My son is visibly uncomfortable with my sadness so he gets silly.
My daughter told me she wants a cat if our dog dies (I’m guessing that’s her coping with it?).
If I have the chance, do I take the kids to say goodbye to her?
We’ve dealt with a whole lot of limbo before but this time it’s different.
answer
This one is hard. They are young and it is hard for them to comprehend all the variables.
I don't recommend taking them to the vet since it can be scary for them in this age group. If your dog dies, you can have a ceremony/ritual together where you say goodbye to her. It can be the four of you together talking about your memories of her.
Since it is a big loss for you I do recommend being good about giving yourself time alone to grieve and feel the sadness of your dog being sick. Maybe an early morning walk can be helpful.