Parenting

Why won't my daughter participate in a new activity that she wanted?

My daughter has been looking forward to ballet class for weeks. She started yesterday and didn’t know any of the girls in the class. She insisted I come in with her and wanted to sit on my lap and didn’t participate at all. She’s always been an observer at the beginning of new things and never one to jump in but I was a bit surprised that she needed me by her side the entire class and didn’t participate.

My 5yo is worried about what her friends will say. Is this normal?

Last week I had her pick out her ballet outfit in the morning so that when she got dressed for dance after school in the parking lot, she wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed. So we got dressed in the outfit she picked out and she noticed her leotard had little sleeves on it…
oh my god - full blown tantrum. So sad so upset “everyone is going to think my leotard is ugly!!!” “They are not going to like it”
Then yesterday morning we were getting ready for school and we packed her favorite meal in the whole wide world, meat sauce and noodles… I told her that was what’s for lunch and she sadly said “oh no please don’t pack that in my lunch anymore, the other kids think it’s yucky, and I don’t want to be the one with a yucky lunch“.
It broke my heart as it is her very favorite to eat. I know social influences will happen all the time but how do I handle these things at 4/5 years old? What do I say?

My toddler is inconsolable if I am not home after school. How can we help her?

Apparently my soon to be 3yo daughter is very attached to me. When she comes home from preschool or from the park with the nanny, she is looking for me and if I am not home or at work, she gets very upset and cries. My husband and the nanny say that my daughter and I were too close when she was a newborn, that it was just me and her for 24hrs and now this is the price we pay, and she is “suffering” all the consequences of how I was with her.
Do you have insight into what could have caused this recent habit of her crying for me more often than before and not letting other caregivers calm her down?

My 5yo is falling asleep in class... Why?

I just got a note from school saying that my 5yo son is falling asleep on his desk after lunch. He is 5, turning 6 soon. He sleeps at 8 PM, but he has always woken up between 5 and 6 AM. He gets up early, it’s always been like that. I told him to splash water on his face, but honestly don’t know if he is going to do it.

Any tips?

Is my 4yo being wasteful?

Any books for kids about not being wasteful? My 4-yr-old son will take our newly purchased shampoo or hand soap or toothpaste or paper towels or duct tape or baking soda, you name it and then proceed to use them all up to conduct “experiments” when my back is turned. Argh!!! I’ve explained it’s wasteful, that I just bought that, and that he’ll need to help pay from his piggy bank to replace it. Nothing ever seems to work. Any words of wisdom to help him grasp this concept?

My 10yo daughter is at the cusp of puberty but not interested. How can I prepare her?

My 10yo daughter doesn’t seem very interested lately in talking about puberty and changes in her body etc. We started reading a book about that for a while and she was fine and interested. Lately when I approach the subject it’s like she doesn’t want to let go of being a little girl.
How do I respect her timing but also prepare her?

How can I help my son with big feelings?

My son was frustrated today because we promised him some Robux money and the app was not working. I had to take my daughter to her class and in the rush I told him that I could figure it out after I dropped her off.

He started to tell his sister “call me idiot from now on” and then he took the charger cable, wrapped it around his neck and said he was going to kill himself. I immediately responded by asking why he felt that way and began to explain to him what it meant by saying that. As I was talking to him I began to cry and told him that in this family we loved him so much that we would never want him gone from the family. My son has struggled so much with his self confidence over the last two years that this just scares me. Did I respond ok, should I have said something different?

How do I help my child control her bladder when relaxed??

We had another rough night getting my daughter to bed last night. I spoke with her Occupational Therapist about ways to help calm her body at bedtime to help her fall asleep. Lately we go through our routine and then when we turn off the lights and lay down with her she starts up with "I'm not tired, I'm bored, sleeping is soooo boring" and this goes on for about an hour. We followed the OTs guidance and did a body massage and then listened to a kids meditation. At first she said she felt so calm and how much she loved it and then she peed her pants.

My 4yo is very concerned with mortality. How can I help him understand and feel at ease?

My overly curious, smart, and big feeling 4-yr-old is connecting the dots too quickly (beyond what I think others would consider “age appropriate” contemplations or discussions) on mortality.
A combination of factors seem to be creating a heartbreaking realization in him that every once in a while, always in the still cuddle moments before bed, have him asking questions (with voice breaking, bottom lip quivering, and eyes swelling with tears) like:
“Mom, can we be together forever?”
“Can we ask God to please let us live on Earth together forever?”
“Is one of us going to go to Heaven before the other one does?”

How do I prepare my child for a new school tour and testing for placement?

My child will need to go and tour a new school and test there with their intervention specialist for placement. I am very worried about how to navigate this. We will have to tell him we will be leaving the city we have been living in which means new house, new school, new dojo, new friends. That alone will be so much and then testing at a school? He does not do well under this type of scrutiny so how do I break this news to him and prepare him for this testing meet/greet?

My 12yo seems to be bullied by his "friends". How can I help him stand up for himself?

My 12yo had a basketball championship yesterday. The team won 1st place. It was exciting for all. Afterwards my son sent a picture of the trophy to his boys chat. Instead of getting a congrats or nice job, the boys on the chat typed negative things (ie. How does it feel to be carried, you suck… etc.) He is the youngest on the team. Others are 13, 14, and 15. My son continues to say those are his friends. My perspective is if they continue the negative talk then they really are not his friends. How to handle this situation when it seems like he can’t handle it?

My 6yo son is showing signs of anxiety in addition to having ADHD. Help!

My 6 year old son seems to have some anxiety lately. We were at a party and I gave my children a 5 minute warning that we were leaving. Afterwards, they begged for 5 more minutes, and I told them fine, but not to ask again because we would in fact leave after the next 5 minutes. After the next 5 minutes, I found his cousin and brother playing and told them it was time to leave. I couldn’t find my son though. Then, I did. He was curled up in a ball in the living room crying saying that he couldn’t find anything to do in the 5 minutes.

How do I prepare my child for an injection?

Since my daughter leans on anxious, when we got her 1st COVID shot I waited until we were in the Dr's office to tell her she was getting the shot. She handled it well but said it hurt so much and that she was "NEVER EVER" doing it again. Her 2nd shot is this afternoon. I am thinking of handling it the same way because if I tell her in advance she will freak out and be so anxious about it. I am just trying to manage her anxiety about it. Thoughts?

My 6yo is very sensitive to sounds. How can I help him manage through big noises?

Our 6 year old is really afraid of school fire drills. He knows which day the fire drills take place and he takes noise canceling headphones that he can put on while it’s going on but it’s that initial alarm noise that really scares him. This morning he locked himself in the bathroom because he didn’t want to go to school because it’s fire drill day. What are some techniques we can try or things we can communicate to the school to make this less scary for him? He has never liked sudden loud noises.