Question
My 10yo daughter doesn’t seem very interested lately in talking about puberty and changes in her body etc. We started reading a book about that for a while and she was fine and interested. Lately when I approach the subject it’s like she doesn’t want to let go of being a little girl. I feel she is in conflict of wanting to grow up but at the same time not wanting to deal with what comes with it. So how to respect her timing but also prepare her?
Also she was really curious about how babies were made when she was little, like around 4 but that was it. I’m kinda waiting for her to trigger the conversation instead of being like “ok let’s talk about how babies are made”. Should I not be waiting? Thanks!
Answer
Sounds like you know where to start. Talking to our tweens and teens does not mean they respond. Some of the time we are talking and all they are doing is listening. Trust she is listening.
She is experiencing the normal dilemma that A LOT of 10-12 year old's have of being stuck between knowing they are not a little kid and not being a big kid. Some choose to stay little and that's normal.
In a quiet loving moment, speak to her about what you see, that she wants to stay a little girl and let her know that, that is NORMAL.
Let her know she can continue to do things that little kids do AND that you support her. For now, all she needs to know is about menstruation. Make her a bag with underwear and sanitary bags and tell her, "I don't want the blood to catch you by surprise, let's put this in your backpack for school" AND then let it go.
For now "the talk" is more about the feelings of being conflicted about being older. That's it, then you would be following her lead.