Question
I have a question about preparing kids for shots. Since my daughter leans on anxious, when we got her 1st COVID shot I waited until we were in the Dr's office to tell her she was getting the shot. She handled it well but said it hurt so much and that she was "NEVER EVER" doing it again. Her 2nd shot is this afternoon. I am thinking of handling it the same way because if I tell her in advance she will freak out and be so anxious about it. Last time, the nurse questioned this approach and basically said "you are going to lie to your daughter?” which of course made me feel terrible. I am just trying to manage her anxiety about it. Thoughts?
Answer
Uff, this is a toughie. The best practice is to predict what will happen and walk the child through the plan of how to be safe. But I hear and respect your gut saying "she will go into loops of anxiety"
If you wait to tell her at the doctor's office, know that this time she will take longer to accept and feel safe with the shot. This is because her brain has a memory of what happened last time and that is what it's going to cling to. Expect that and be open to her crying and her being upset. Also make sure the nurses don't rush the process. My recommendation also is to have her sit on you and you hold her while the nurse gives her the shot, that way even if she is crying she is in your arms. If she asks you "if she is getting a shot" today at home before you go to the doctor then you have to say yes. If you say I don't know or are ambiguous just to wait to get to the doctors then that's when you would be lying and you will be setting yourself up for failure in the future and future shots. Again, expect her to be very scared and to fall apart a bit. Don't listen or respond to her words, just continue to remind her to calm her body. Ride the wave of the fear.
I suppose my clearest message is, you can't avoid her fear and it will most likely be big. Prepare yourself to stay calm and get her through it.