We made it to the UK but our goods have not so we have started our life here with a very minimalistic setup made of basic rental furniture but none of our personal things (including toys and books!!!). My son and daughter have been very restless, complaining about everything and struggling at times to get used to their new (boring?) life with none of the things they need to feel at home (except us parents). I have obviously bought a few new toys and books but it's still not their things... School starts on Sept 8th and by then it will have been more than 3 months without school or summer camp. Help?!?
How do I help my little one transition to a new school and manage his modesty?
I have two questions regarding my little guy:
When should we start to prep him for a new school knowing he leans on anxious?
Also, regarding summer camp, I took him out of the second camp today. He really didn't want to go back after I picked him up yesterday. We found out it is for ages 7-15! No one told us before.
Yesterday he was just sitting around, not wanting to go into the water (and it was a water sports camp!). Later he told me it was because he didn't want to get wet and then change clothes in front of everybody as he didn't feel safe. How do I help him with that?
We are on vacation away from home and we are not doing well. HELP!
I am visiting family on the east coast alone with the girls. We’ve been out here for 2 weeks now. Our schedules have definitely been off even though I have tried to maintain them to the best of my ability.
One of my daughters has been beyond attached the whole trip which is not really like her to this extent. I have not even showered alone to give you some understanding. And my other daughter has just woken up upset many days. She is definitely more moody than normal. Not sure which side of her I am going to get throughout the day.
People here parent way differently than I do and standing my ground and maintaining my parenting has taken a lot of effort. I feel like I am riding a two week anxiety wave internally.
How do I help my daughter when she is stuck in an idea or thought?
My daughter has it stuck in her head that she absolutely doesn't like boys. Of course when I ask her why she says, “because they don't have long beautiful hair like girls”. So I say, "wow that's interesting, I choose if I connect with someone based on how kind they are not what they look like" but it falls on deaf ears. Last week we went to a friend's house and they have an 8 year old son. She spent the first 20 minutes there screaming "I hate boys, I never want to play with boys, this is so stupid." It was really embarrassing. Once she finally calmed down she played with him and had a blast. Then this week we met a friend at the pool who has a 4 year old son and she did the exact same thing but this time refused to have anything to do with him and kept yelling at me that I was talking to the Mom and not playing with her (I was doing both). How do I handle this?
Is a long tour of a monument ok for my kids?
The kids have been asking us to go to a historical monument BUT the tour is 3 1/2 hours long. I know the excitement is gonna die out and it won’t be as entertaining for them so how can I prepare them and myself for the day?
Last week we went and only hung out outside and they’ve been asking all week to go, so I’m hopeful...
Should I talk about my son to his doctor in front of him?
Question
What is the best way to handle doctor appointments when it comes to communicating with the doctor about my son, in front of him?
My son picks up on everything and is very sensitive, so my default is to want to shield him from those discussions but I also need to be able to speak openly with his doctor (not in code). I’m about to start talking to doctors about possible adhd, etc. and I am unsure what to communicate to my son about all of these what-ifs. He’s starting with an occupational therapist soon, and the OT suggested just telling him he’s going to hang out and play with her when he has a session. I think my kid is going to want a lot more information and will want to understand the why and what the goal is, but I don’t know how to communicate that to a 3.5-yr-old. I want him to embrace an “always learning,” “ongoing self improvement and practice builds confidence” kind of outlook, but without processing it as “something must be wrong with me” or “I’m not good enough” which may be his default. Thanks!
Answer
Your gut is correct on both fronts. He needs more information.
For the occupational therapy sessions the message is simple - she is helping him with his body so that when he has a big emotion or big energy he can help his body settle down.
Bring him back to the idea that his feelings are both in his body and in his mind. Let him know that if he learns the movements that the OT teaches him then, when his mind is cloudy and messy, when his big feelings come, he can just move how his OT teaches him and he can have the feeling move out of him.
At the doctor's office that is a bit trickier - If they have a play area then I would ask the doctor if he can go there and then you can speak privately. If that’s not an option then ask the doctor your questions in the same way that you talk to your son about his barriers and what he is working on. For example “doctor we are working together on helping him and his body be more settled. What do you want to tell me and him that can be helpful?”. Most doctors will pick up on the fact that you are being cautious with your son and his messages and that tends to help.
Also, get into a habit of asking your son if he has any questions about what his doctor said. Then you can clarify any information he may have picked up on that he may be defining poorly.
My son kicked a child in the face! HELP!
My daughter insists on being with dad and refuses my attention. How can I help her?
Every morning when my daughter gets up she calls for her daddy who is getting ready for work. When I go in she yells at me, “go away mommy, I hate you, I don’t want you, etc.” I say “wow it seems like you are really disappointed that daddy isn’t available and that’s hard.”
She says “don’t talk to me, I don’t want to hear your voice or anything you say.”
Sometimes she goes as far as slamming the door on me. It’s a horrible way to start the morning.
Why is she doing this and how can we stop it and have a more pleasant morning?
Maybe she will phase out of it??
My 6yo son is constantly whining. Is this normal?
My child unbuckles himself from the car seat while I am driving! Help!
My child is exhausted after camp. My big problem is in the car. I pick him up and ask him how his day went while we walk to the car and as soon as I start driving he loses it. I don’t mind the tantrum in itself. I will breath roll down the windows like you said but he now unbuckles himself from the car seat. He only knows how to unbuckle the top and get his arms free but that to me is just a huge No-No being I was a trauma ER nurse. It’s just so dangerous and I have seen horrible things. I find myself reacting to him out of fear.
I know it’s the fear talking and trying to scare him out of doing it which works but the tantrum of course gets worse then I feel so guilty.
How do I go about it in the moment when I see him trying to get loose?
Is my 5.5yo daughter old enough to go on a class excursion without me or her dad?
I’ve signed 5.5yo daughter for an art class starting next week that lasts two weeks. The class is from 9am-3pm at an art studio. I’ve met the teacher and I really like her. The class can have up to 15 kids ages 5-12.
At noon, they walk to a park that’s four blocks from the art studio and eat lunch and play for an hour and a half. My daughter has never been anywhere without either me or her dad or grandparents and I’d told the art teacher that I was going to pick her up at noon and take her out to lunch instead of letting her go to the park with the other kids. I can’t help but think she’s too little to go somewhere without me and not have me there in case she needs something. What say you, Lina?
My child is feeling excluded. How can I help them through this?
Why won't my daughter participate in a new activity that she wanted?
My daughter has been looking forward to ballet class for weeks. She started yesterday and didn’t know any of the girls in the class. She insisted I come in with her and wanted to sit on my lap and didn’t participate at all. She’s always been an observer at the beginning of new things and never one to jump in but I was a bit surprised that she needed me by her side the entire class and didn’t participate.
My 5yo is worried about what her friends will say. Is this normal?
Last week I had her pick out her ballet outfit in the morning so that when she got dressed for dance after school in the parking lot, she wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed. So we got dressed in the outfit she picked out and she noticed her leotard had little sleeves on it…
oh my god - full blown tantrum. So sad so upset “everyone is going to think my leotard is ugly!!!” “They are not going to like it”
Then yesterday morning we were getting ready for school and we packed her favorite meal in the whole wide world, meat sauce and noodles… I told her that was what’s for lunch and she sadly said “oh no please don’t pack that in my lunch anymore, the other kids think it’s yucky, and I don’t want to be the one with a yucky lunch“.
It broke my heart as it is her very favorite to eat. I know social influences will happen all the time but how do I handle these things at 4/5 years old? What do I say?
My toddler is inconsolable if I am not home after school. How can we help her?
Apparently my soon to be 3yo daughter is very attached to me. When she comes home from preschool or from the park with the nanny, she is looking for me and if I am not home or at work, she gets very upset and cries. My husband and the nanny say that my daughter and I were too close when she was a newborn, that it was just me and her for 24hrs and now this is the price we pay, and she is “suffering” all the consequences of how I was with her.
Do you have insight into what could have caused this recent habit of her crying for me more often than before and not letting other caregivers calm her down?
My 5yo is falling asleep in class... Why?
I just got a note from school saying that my 5yo son is falling asleep on his desk after lunch. He is 5, turning 6 soon. He sleeps at 8 PM, but he has always woken up between 5 and 6 AM. He gets up early, it’s always been like that. I told him to splash water on his face, but honestly don’t know if he is going to do it.
Any tips?
Is my 4yo being wasteful?
Any books for kids about not being wasteful? My 4-yr-old son will take our newly purchased shampoo or hand soap or toothpaste or paper towels or duct tape or baking soda, you name it and then proceed to use them all up to conduct “experiments” when my back is turned. Argh!!! I’ve explained it’s wasteful, that I just bought that, and that he’ll need to help pay from his piggy bank to replace it. Nothing ever seems to work. Any words of wisdom to help him grasp this concept?
How can I help my son with big feelings?
My son was frustrated today because we promised him some Robux money and the app was not working. I had to take my daughter to her class and in the rush I told him that I could figure it out after I dropped her off.
He started to tell his sister “call me idiot from now on” and then he took the charger cable, wrapped it around his neck and said he was going to kill himself. I immediately responded by asking why he felt that way and began to explain to him what it meant by saying that. As I was talking to him I began to cry and told him that in this family we loved him so much that we would never want him gone from the family. My son has struggled so much with his self confidence over the last two years that this just scares me. Did I respond ok, should I have said something different?
My 4yo son seems overwhelmed in a big and loud class. Is it right for him?
How do I help my child control her bladder when relaxed??
We had another rough night getting my daughter to bed last night. I spoke with her Occupational Therapist about ways to help calm her body at bedtime to help her fall asleep. Lately we go through our routine and then when we turn off the lights and lay down with her she starts up with "I'm not tired, I'm bored, sleeping is soooo boring" and this goes on for about an hour. We followed the OTs guidance and did a body massage and then listened to a kids meditation. At first she said she felt so calm and how much she loved it and then she peed her pants.