Question
I just got a call from my son’s camp that he kicked a boy in the face. They say it doesn’t seem like he had a reason and that he wasn’t being provoked (not that, that is a reason). They say he has been playing a bit aggressive today and that they have told him to play easy. So after he kicked the boy he was taken to the director and she spoke to him. She told me she noticed he immediately knew he did something wrong. She explained that is unacceptable. This is the first time he does something like this; he has never hit another child. I am thinking that he might have been playing and it was an accident but the counselor seems to think it was on purpose. I want to go about this the right way and give the director and counselor re-enforcement that he has to play easy and hitting is unacceptable but I don’t want him to think that if in fact it was an accident he is being punished or something like that.
Answer
He is a loving and empathic little guy. The fact that he understood he had made a mistake and hurt another little one is proof of his kindness and of not assuming that he “hit from out of nowhere”. I doubt it.
All everyone can say to him is to be mindful and careful of his body when he is playing. Remind him that even when he’s happy he needs to be aware of all his friends around him so they all don’t hurt each other with a sudden move.
On the way to camp tomorrow tell him to be careful when he feels big feelings that his body doesn’t get too big. Tell him if the feeling is too big to walk away from the children and wait until the big feeling passes. Tell him he can sing a song or count his numbers and then come back.
The key is for him to have a plan. Not for him to “feel bad” or “wrong”.