Question
Every morning when my daughter gets up she calls for her daddy who is getting ready for work. When I go in she yells at me, “go away mommy, I hate you, I don’t want you, etc.” I say “wow it seems like you are really disappointed that daddy isn’t available and that’s hard.”
She says “don’t talk to me, I don’t want to hear your voice or anything you say.”
Sometimes she goes as far as slamming the door on me. It’s a horrible way to start the morning.
Why is she doing this and how can we stop it and have a more pleasant morning? Maybe she will phase out of it??
Answer
She is immaturely sharing her disappointment of not being able to spend time with her dad in the morning. All you have to say is the first phrase "you're sad you can't be with daddy" then stay quiet and give her the space to manage her disappointment, which for your little one is to blame people around her.
The key is that when she has this BIG response you have to see it as an immature emotional response rather than disrespect. You stay calm and collected.
Also, when does she spend time with dad? Is there a time in the routine where he can be with her? If time spent with dad is unpredictable or inconsistent a child like your daughter will demand it until she can guarantee the time.
Have dad find a specific time in the routine to be with her or manage her and stick with it. Consistency is key. That way when she says "no! I want dad" you can say, “remember daddy helps you during dinner time and at bath time”, then let it go.