Question
I’ve signed 5.5yo daughter for an art class starting next week that lasts two weeks. The class is from 9am-3pm at an art studio. I’ve met the teacher and I really like her. The class can have up to 15 kids ages 5-12. At noon, they walk to a park that’s four blocks from the art studio and eat lunch and play for an hour and a half. My daughter has never been anywhere without either me or her dad or grandparents and I’d told the art teacher that I was going to pick her up at noon and take her out to lunch instead of letting her go to the park with the other kids. I was just talking to my therapist about this and she says allowing her to go to the park would make her feel more independent and capable and also learn to pay attention walking to the park. The park also has sprinklers so she’d have to wear a bathing suit under her clothes and then would have to dry herself off and change into dry clothes once they go back to the art studio at 1:30. She has a hard time drying herself. My therapist told me this would be a good way for her to learn new skills. She sensed my anxiety and unwillingness to let my daughter go to the park so my therapist suggested I ask you. I can’t help but think she’s too little to go somewhere without me and not have me there in case she needs something. What say you, Lina?
Answer
Developmentally, at 5.5 years old, she is old enough to take that walk and to dry herself off.
All you have to do is guide her through the process and give her specific tips on how to manage.
I would practice drying herself at home from now until she starts.
I would tell her that if she can't see the teacher then she is too far away, so let her know to keep her eyes on the teacher or hold the teacher's hand when they are walking to the park.
In this age group, it is important to have a "You can do it..." attitude and walk them through the mistakes rather than "I have to help you...".
These are the types of instances, along with being responsible for self in big moments, that build self esteem.
She is in a group with 5-12 year olds, so you have to feel safe that the teacher sees her as a 5 year old rather than a 12 year old. I would talk to the teacher and wonder with her what parameters she will be giving the children and how she plans to differentiate between each age group. See how she responds. If it fits to your satisfaction that the teacher understands the difference between 5-8 or 12 then let her go.
Also do the same for your daughter. Let her know that 12 year olds, 8 year olds and 5 year olds are different and have different strengths. This way she doesn't compare herself to the older kids.