Parenting

How do I handle a big, loud and physical tantrum in a healthy way?

Yesterday was my daughter’s first day back at school for the full day 9-4. It was a long day and the first scheduled day like that all summer. She is going through a phase where she only wears dresses. During school she got her dress very dirty. She went to get new clothes from her cubby and when she got there she noticed I packed her a bunch of beautiful t-shirts and pants (because they are clothes I figure we won’t use so they could be at school) she was SO disappointed and cried for a while at school.
When I arrived to pick her up, she was clearly upset with me. Once we got down to the parking garage she let it all out! She said she needed a dress and immediately took off her t-shirt and pushed me, hit me, pulled my hair, and pretended to spit on me. She shared she didn’t like me any more and wanted a new mommy.

Is it normal for my 6yo to get anxious from loud noises, specifically, fire alarms?

My son is 6 years old and ever since he started pre-k he has been scared of the fire alarms. He hates them. It causes him anxiety. It was worse when he was younger but even after a year or so of being in school he still hates them and gets anxious. We talk about it often and tell him what they are for but he still does not like them. Today the teacher wrote to us that he has been covering his ears the past few days and today he said he had a headache and we suspect it's because the school administrator told him this morning there will be a fire alarm. We asked the school admin, at my son’s request, to let him know the day there would be fire drills. Is this normal after so long in school, what else could we tell him?

I am not happy with how my 7yo daughters friends are treating her. Do I intervene?

My 7yo daughter has a friend that she's been friends with since she was 3. We're now close to the family and have a group of friends that we all spend a lot of time with. While I love the girl's parents, the little girl can be quite challenging and frankly disrespectful to her own parents as well as others. My daughter has often had conflicts with her over the years, and we've always guided them to "work it out'“.
However, now things have escalated a bit. On about 3 occasions, this little girl has managed to get about 6-7 other little kids from the group we hang out with to exclude her, shutting her out of rooms, and making fun of her. It's horrible to watch and always ends in tears.

I am having a hard time handling my 3.5yo's tantrums. How can I manage?

I've heard you talk about tantrums and toddlers numerous times and it still amazes me how much I need to be reminded of this. So after the summer, it seems like my son’s tantrums (3.5yrs) have become more intense & he's become more demanding. He also doesn't really do what we ask him to do (which is usually very reasonable for a 3.5yr old). He doesn't cooperate. How can I start turning this around?

We just moved abroad and our things have not arrived. My kids are restless and irritable. How can I manage their big feelings?

We made it to the UK but our goods have not so we have started our life here with a very minimalistic setup made of basic rental furniture but none of our personal things (including toys and books!!!). My son and daughter have been very restless, complaining about everything and struggling at times to get used to their new (boring?) life with none of the things they need to feel at home (except us parents). I have obviously bought a few new toys and books but it's still not their things... School starts on Sept 8th and by then it will have been more than 3 months without school or summer camp. Help?!?

How do I help my little one transition to a new school and manage his modesty?

I have two questions regarding my little guy:
When should we start to prep him for a new school knowing he leans on anxious?
Also, regarding summer camp, I took him out of the second camp today. He really didn't want to go back after I picked him up yesterday. We found out it is for ages 7-15! No one told us before.
Yesterday he was just sitting around, not wanting to go into the water (and it was a water sports camp!). Later he told me it was because he didn't want to get wet and then change clothes in front of everybody as he didn't feel safe. How do I help him with that?

We are on vacation away from home and we are not doing well. HELP!

I am visiting family on the east coast alone with the girls. We’ve been out here for 2 weeks now. Our schedules have definitely been off even though I have tried to maintain them to the best of my ability.

One of my daughters has been beyond attached the whole trip which is not really like her to this extent. I have not even showered alone to give you some understanding. And my other daughter has just woken up upset many days. She is definitely more moody than normal. Not sure which side of her I am going to get throughout the day.

People here parent way differently than I do and standing my ground and maintaining my parenting has taken a lot of effort. I feel like I am riding a two week anxiety wave internally.

Our vacation time is ending. What can I do to help my children transition back home?

Our time in California is winding down and their camp ends this week. The girls are so incredibly sad and I know there will be tears. They have made good friends over the last six weeks and they are already saying they don't want to go back to Miami, they don't want to go back to school etc.
My daughter feels it a lot more than her sister, she always cries when we have to say goodbye to her grandmother. What can I do to help them with this transition?

How do I help my daughter when she is stuck in an idea or thought?

My daughter has it stuck in her head that she absolutely doesn't like boys. Of course when I ask her why she says, “because they don't have long beautiful hair like girls”. So I say, "wow that's interesting, I choose if I connect with someone based on how kind they are not what they look like" but it falls on deaf ears. Last week we went to a friend's house and they have an 8 year old son. She spent the first 20 minutes there screaming "I hate boys, I never want to play with boys, this is so stupid." It was really embarrassing. Once she finally calmed down she played with him and had a blast. Then this week we met a friend at the pool who has a 4 year old son and she did the exact same thing but this time refused to have anything to do with him and kept yelling at me that I was talking to the Mom and not playing with her (I was doing both). How do I handle this?

How can I explain to my daughters that they are being mean to others?

When my daughters get together they are extremely silly and have so much fun together. The other day we were also with another friend's daughter who is a bit younger, less verbal, just not as strong of a personality. The girls were giggling hysterically and calling her a poopy head, saying they wouldn't share their food with her, etc...all while laughing hysterically. My friend and I are very sensitive about not wanting "mean girl" daughters so help us understand the difference between being silly and not truly trying to be mean and consciously being unkind which I really don't think they were doing.

Is a long tour of a monument ok for my kids?

The kids have been asking us to go to a historical monument BUT the tour is 3 1/2 hours long. I know the excitement is gonna die out and it won’t be as entertaining for them so how can I prepare them and myself for the day?
Last week we went and only hung out outside and they’ve been asking all week to go, so I’m hopeful...

My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD. Now what?

We saw a neurologist today and according to the Qbtest they administer to determine ADHD, my daughter was diagnosed with it. They don't feel that it's severe enough to warrant medication but they are going to work with the school to get her a 504.

Is there anything else that I can do on my end to help support her?

I spoke to a friend who used an advocate to guide her through the process (her son also had dyslexia) but is my daughter’s therapist still the right fit for her or does she need something different in your opinion?

My teen is refusing to follow through on a commitment. How do I proceed?

I registered my 16yo to go on a mission trip. He originally agreed because his college counselor strongly suggested this camp since he is already working on personal statements for his college essay. He will be 17 next month and a Senior. Now that the time has come for him to go on the mission trip (this Sunday) he is refusing to go. What do you suggest I do in this situation? Should I continue to encourage/push him to go? Or do I let him win this battle? Please help!

My son is bored in class and is given advanced work. Is this ok?

At my son’s Parent Teacher Conference this past February, his Kindergarten teacher told me she saw him getting bored in class because of his ability to understand the concepts so quickly. So she came up with a plan (and I agreed to it), to teach him all Kindergarten level material, and while the other children were working on the sheets (with the teacher’s assistant) she would sit with him and teach him 1st grade reading and math. It worked and he was liking it. Is this the way to do it? Just want to be sure. And then, how should we approach 1st grade now in August? 

My daughter insists on being with dad and refuses my attention. How can I help her?

Every morning when my daughter gets up she calls for her daddy who is getting ready for work. When I go in she yells at me, “go away mommy, I hate you, I don’t want you, etc.” I say “wow it seems like you are really disappointed that daddy isn’t available and that’s hard.”
She says “don’t talk to me, I don’t want to hear your voice or anything you say.”
Sometimes she goes as far as slamming the door on me. It’s a horrible way to start the morning.
Why is she doing this and how can we stop it and have a more pleasant morning?
Maybe she will phase out of it??

My child unbuckles himself from the car seat while I am driving! Help!

My child is exhausted after camp. My big problem is in the car. I pick him up and ask him how his day went while we walk to the car and as soon as I start driving he loses it. I don’t mind the tantrum in itself. I will breath roll down the windows like you said but he now unbuckles himself from the car seat. He only knows how to unbuckle the top and get his arms free but that to me is just a huge No-No being I was a trauma ER nurse. It’s just so dangerous and I have seen horrible things. I find myself reacting to him out of fear.
I know it’s the fear talking and trying to scare him out of doing it which works but the tantrum of course gets worse then I feel so guilty.

How do I go about it in the moment when I see him trying to get loose?

Is my 5.5yo daughter old enough to go on a class excursion without me or her dad?

I’ve signed 5.5yo daughter for an art class starting next week that lasts two weeks. The class is from 9am-3pm at an art studio. I’ve met the teacher and I really like her. The class can have up to 15 kids ages 5-12.
At noon, they walk to a park that’s four blocks from the art studio and eat lunch and play for an hour and a half. My daughter has never been anywhere without either me or her dad or grandparents and I’d told the art teacher that I was going to pick her up at noon and take her out to lunch instead of letting her go to the park with the other kids. I can’t help but think she’s too little to go somewhere without me and not have me there in case she needs something. What say you, Lina?