,

What Your Child Needs to Know to be Ready For Kindergarten

,
What Your Child Needs to Know to be Ready For Kindergarten

Time and again teachers, parents, and school directors worry and complain about how they are all not on the same page as it pertains to readiness for school.  Most understand that socialization, colors, shapes, and letters are important for children to be exposed to.  That said, there are other aspects of a child's social emotional development that if they are not helped and taken care of by the time they go to their first day of kindergarten, will contribute to things not going smoothly in the school age years.  

,

How Not to Raise Darth Vader (Video)

,
How Not to Raise Darth Vader (Video)

Ever wonder if you are raising a villain?  Do you love Stars Wars and want to understand it from a child development point of view?  Get the answers to both of these questions in these videos:

, ,

How Society Can Break Our Girls

, ,
How Society Can Break Our Girls

I watched my daughter’s eyes swell up with tears and thought, “here it is, here is the day I have been dreading.” We spoke while I brushed her hair about an incident she had in her classroom.  The students in her class have begun to point out how intelligent she is.  They react to her with jokes spiced with sarcasm saying, “What’s the magic recipe for getting all the answers right?” This is not bullying.  These are just kids reacting, noticing, moving through the markers of development.  The ones speaking to her this way are defending themselves from embarrassment and fear of my daughter judging their mistakes or their perceived lack of knowledge compared to her.  My daughter has begun to balance with how to be her authentic self:  intelligent, curious, an avid reader and friend, with her need to remain in relationship with those around her.

,

How Understanding ME, YOU and US Makes for Better Parenting

,
How Understanding ME, YOU and US Makes for Better Parenting

This process made me analyze and process something that most of us psychotherapists take for granted.  The ability to self-reflect is one that will help all relationships.  It is particularly crucial in parenting, but unfortunately it is something very few parents tend to do.  


Self-reflection takes time to learn and practice.  In development, it should be a marker we reach in varying degrees through the age groups but should master at the end of adolescence.  As Dan Siegel discusses in both of his books, Brainstorm and Mindsight, we need to be able to understand, ME, YOU and US, to make the best decisions as it pertains to relationship.  In parenting this is how I see this breakdown

, ,

Tips to Help Parents Answer Sex-related questions from Early Childhood to Teens

, ,
Tips to Help Parents Answer Sex-related questions from Early Childhood to Teens

To soothe your fear and discomfort with the topic of sex remember that we develop sexually from the moment we are born, and in this manner it should be approached like when you taught them to walk, eat, go to school, bathe. Here are healthy sexual development markers:

,

Why Your Kindergartener is Inconsolable

,
Why Your Kindergartener is Inconsolable

Little people are just like big people. In this moment, my child was acting like a grown-up starting a new job.  He was experiencing a kindergarten version of adult concerns:  “What are these people going to be like? Will I like my boss? Am I going to be able to do the work?” In those moments it is important to take a moment and hold them and tell them that it is normal to be scared.  Take that opportunity to

,

I'm the Mother. Not the Primary Caregiver of my Children

,
I'm the Mother. Not the Primary Caregiver of my Children

In my family I am the parent that spends the least amount of time with the children. Given that I am a parenting expert, the irony is laughable.  However, this reality offers me insight into being the second caregiver and assuming a role incongruous to the value system of our society in which mom is the primary caregiver.  It is a struggle, but I also feel grateful that my children have two parents that take on the role of caring for them first and foremost.

 

,

Disney Pixar's Inside Out Challenges All Of Us To Feel

,
Disney Pixar's Inside Out Challenges All Of Us To Feel

Outside of my office door I hear a little voice talking to her daddy saying, “This one is joy, then disgust, yuk! And that one’s anger.r”  I know this little one does not like to talk about her feelings, but today she is excited and certain, describing the characters from the new Disney Pixar movie Inside Out.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude hearing her use emotional language and thrilled that director Pete Docter and Disney Pixar have taken on the task of bringing to life the amazing world of feelings and the workings of the mind.  As a mental health professional, the debut of this movie has been on the top of my to do list since I saw the trailer.  I am happy to say...

, ,

Top 3 Tips to Get Into Your Tween's Head Using Disney Pixar's "Inside Out"

, ,
Top 3 Tips to Get Into Your Tween's Head Using Disney Pixar's "Inside Out"

Director Pete Docter takes on the world of the mind and emotions and creates a visually beautiful film.  The movie engages you from the very start.  I watched in awe as everything I know about a tween’s social and emotional development was presented with entertaining banter and wit.  In the first ten minutes the film introduces each feeling, defines them and what they do for Riley, the 11 year old star of the film, at this point Inside Out had my heart.  At that moment I understood that a parent can use this film in any age group but in particular for a tween to speak and explain the world of choices, loss and emotions.  Here are my suggestions on how to use the movie to begin a conversation with your tween about the world inside their minds:

,

When Saying “Me Too” Can Help You Feel Like a Good Parent

,
When Saying “Me Too” Can Help You Feel Like a Good Parent

I have had the luxury of spending countless hours with mothers in the work that I do.  What I discover time and again is that once the women get to know one another, they choose to be compassionate, inspirational and empowering with one another.  This experience contrasts with what I see in our society and a sad truth in motherhood and parenting; we judge one another.  The judgment takes different forms like books, advice columns/blogs, discipline styles, and moments at the park/school.  The media likes to call it “mommy wars.”