Blog
If you're a parent I want to recommend looking back and processing your past year in an effort to grow. Like your child, parents need to grow and expand with each passing year. Primarily to keep up with your changing and growing child but also to continue your parenting journey and development.
Let’s talk about consequences. One of the most frequent questions parents ask me in workshops and consultations is what is the consequence to a child’s challenging behavior. Most ask that question because they have an inappropriate goal. They've been told that the right goal is for your child to feel bad when they're not listening or when they've made a mistake. I want you to wonder: When was the last time that you learned anything while feeling bad?
There are two questions that parents always ask about their children that causes them to make mistakes. If you stop debating about these questions, you will be better able to choose how to manage your child.
First, stop wondering if the emotion your child is expressing is the "right" feeling for the moment. Feelings are not fact. Feelings are …
Schools around the corner or maybe you have already begun. You have been buying supplies and preparing for school. You probably have been reading books and talking about school to your soon to be little ones these past few weeks. You've done it because you understand that if you predict for your child then they will be ready when the REAL thing happens.
What about you? How are you preparing for the school year?
Skipping school, lying, hiding things from parents, taking an Uber at 2am, or in this case shoplifting are some examples of risky behavior that some teens may take. Watch this to learn why and how to handle it.
Children and parents alike look forward to the lazy days of the summer months. We imagine happy moments in our family vacations. Children running and playing and getting popsicle mustaches. But right around the middle of July we find ourselves screaming, lecturing on the importance of being grateful for the time spent together, and overwhelmed with finding things to do. The following are tips and ways to manage these days of summer.
The wind is blowing my hat towards my cheek, and I can hear my children laughing with their daddy. It is an absolutely breathtaking day on Miami Beach, and I feel like crying. My mind is flooded with negative thoughts: I'm a bad mom because I won't play with them in the water and my children's memories of fun times will always include mom on the sideline watching them looking serious. It is always painful to sit in a happy place full of remorse and regret. I know this is universal for most of us as parents.
I cringed as my husband told my daughter that he would no longer help her order the next time we went to a restaurant. We have a hard and clean rule of not disagreeing in front of the children when one of us is setting a boundary, but in this situation I could not hold my tongue. I had never thought about it, but we disagreed about whether or not our children should order their own food at a restaurant.
Time and again teachers, parents, and school directors worry and complain about how they are all not on the same page as it pertains to readiness for school. Most understand that socialization, colors, shapes, and letters are important for children to be exposed to. That said, there are other aspects of a child's social emotional development that if they are not helped and taken care of by the time they go to their first day of kindergarten, will contribute to things not going smoothly in the school age years.
I watched my daughter’s eyes swell up with tears and thought, “here it is, here is the day I have been dreading.” We spoke while I brushed her hair about an incident she had in her classroom. The students in her class have begun to point out how intelligent she is. They react to her with jokes spiced with sarcasm saying, “What’s the magic recipe for getting all the answers right?” This is not bullying. These are just kids reacting, noticing, moving through the markers of development. The ones speaking to her this way are defending themselves from embarrassment and fear of my daughter judging their mistakes or their perceived lack of knowledge compared to her. My daughter has begun to balance with how to be her authentic self: intelligent, curious, an avid reader and friend, with her need to remain in relationship with those around her.
