“Whatever mom!” “You don’t understand.” “Get out of my room! If you are the parent of a 12-24 year old these are common furious proclamations from your teen. How does a parent deal and learn how to handle this behavior? Most parents that end up in my office are at wit's end when it comes to the anger they experience from their children and the most common question is what to do.
This process made me analyze and process something that most of us psychotherapists take for granted. The ability to self-reflect is one that will help all relationships. It is particularly crucial in parenting, but unfortunately it is something very few parents tend to do.
Self-reflection takes time to learn and practice. In development, it should be a marker we reach in varying degrees through the age groups but should master at the end of adolescence. As Dan Siegel discusses in both of his books, Brainstorm and Mindsight, we need to be able to understand, ME, YOU and US, to make the best decisions as it pertains to relationship. In parenting this is how I see this breakdown