In my family I am the parent that spends the least amount of time with the children. Given that I am a parenting expert, the irony is laughable.  However, this reality offers me insight into being the second caregiver and assuming a role incongruous to the value system of our society in which mom is the primary caregiver.  It is a struggle, but I also feel grateful that my children have two parents that take on the role of caring for them first and foremost.