This process made me analyze and process something that most of us psychotherapists take for granted.  The ability to self-reflect is one that will help all relationships.  It is particularly crucial in parenting, but unfortunately it is something very few parents tend to do.  

Self-reflection takes time to learn and practice.  In development, it should be a marker we reach in varying degrees through the age groups but should master at the end of adolescence.  As Dan Siegel discusses in both of his books, Brainstorm and Mindsight, we need to be able to understand, ME, YOU and US, to make the best decisions as it pertains to relationship.  In parenting this is how I see this breakdown