Question
My younger son has been invited to train and be a guest player in a tournament for the soccer club every boy in south Florida wants to get in. He is doing great and excited with the opportunity. On the other hand, I have my older son that also plays soccer in a local club and he is very happy for his younger brother but at the same time, my older one has been very edgy, moody, “grosero” lately.
I feel that he feels annoyed about everyone concentrating on my younger one's achievement and might feel frustrated to know that he also works hard and tries his best. I had already talked to him to let him know how proud I feel about his grades, achievements, inducted into the junior honor society at school and my husband and I have been making things special for him like, taking him out to his favorite restaurant, upgrading to a new phone, etc.. but I feel that he still feels bad because he had expressed to me in the past how much he would like to have the opportunity his younger brother is experiencing. What else do you recommend I do?
Answer
There's not much else you can do. He is feeling jealousy and disappointment both are normal emotional responses to seeing someone else attain something he wishes he had.
If he gets moody, handle the mood in the moment just like you would in any other time.
If you want, you or his father can sit with him and ask him "What is your head telling you about soccer? How can you continue to thrive and enjoy your own journey?"
Then let him think it through and talk to one of you about it or just ask those questions and let him answer them on his own.
Then that is all.
I like telling people that jealousy is an opportunity for us to ask ourselves "am I willing to do what that person did to get what they have? If so, then I should take action. If not, then I can take a look at me again and wonder where I need to improve and take action for me?"