Question
Today my husband got this message from the homework club teacher:
“I'm having difficulties with your son in the homework club. He's very smart, works quickly and is an amazing reader. The issue is that he's loud, silly and constantly distracting the students. The kids in my class have asked me to make him stop talking because they can't focus. I've asked him many times throughout many days and he ignores me most of the time. Today he mocked me when I asked him to lower his voice so I sent him back to after care and told him I'd let you know.
I think we need to consider a punishment. I hate to do that, but we have to get him to realize he can't behave that way to authority figures. I know you think this is my fault and likely it is because I let him get away with a lot.”
Would you have advice as to what to say to our son and the teacher?
When we try to have uncomfortable conversations he says ok but not sure that it sticks. Things sometimes stick after a lot of repetition although his attention to things that he is not interested in is short. I can see him being annoying/disruptive in after care activities because he is like that at home sometimes.
Answer
The only thing I would tell the teacher is to calmly walk over to him and tell him in his ear "it's time to do homework, look at your friends faces, they are very annoyed by your actions buddy" then have him move closer to her to do the work.
Tell her to tell him this three times.
At the third time she has to say "you are showing me you are having a hard time doing homework in a group, you have to leave".
She needs to be consistent with this message.
The message to drive home is how annoyed his friends are by his actions.
It is important to make him aware that he may be happy and getting his silly out BUT the kids in the room are annoyed by his actions because they want to be able to do homework in the Homework Club and not at home.
Then ask him, “What would be his solution? How can he have fun with friends and also follow the rules of the Homework Club?”
See how he responds and work with him on finding a solution that addresses the teacher's concerns and his concerns.