Question
My oldest, about to turn 6, is getting really loud with us. A lot of fresh, back talk, a lot of ‘no’ , whining, etc...
I know it is normal, and we are remaining consistent and calm the best we can. But I am wondering if there are any books on “talking back”. It is difficult to explain and I am wondering if some stories would help. Ideas!?
Answer
This is pretty typical in this age group. The number one social emotional skill that children 4.5-8 years old are building is how to manage social norms and social rules. Using the metaphor of how they learned to walk: tummy time, crawling, pulling up to walking.
In the social rule of setting boundaries and responding to unwanted requests children 6 and younger are in tummy time.
So if he responds with "no, that's dumb" or any other "talk back" say something like "Oops, oh, wow, I know you're respectful and kind, why not try saying that differently" If he gets stuck then give him ideas...
But definitely expect to be Reminding and Repeating this for a while.
I don't know of any books specific to talking with kindness...but the above technique will work better than a book.