Question
Yesterday, I took the three kids to the movies and to a park. Before we left, my daughter grabbed her socks and I told her, she didn’t need socks because I was going to have them wear water shoes in case the sprinklers were on at the park and she wanted to get wet. She said she wanted to wear her regular shoes because she didn’t want to get wet. I asked if she was sure and she told me yes. My other two children wore their water shoes.
After the movies, as we were walking over to the park, my daughter saw the sprinklers were on and she said, “Look! The sprinklers are on! But I don’t want to get wet.” Once we got there, she saw her friend and they were playing around. Her friend was not getting wet, but my other daughter was. She began leaning her head in and getting her head wet, trying to avoid getting her shoes wet, but she got them wet. I told her she couldn’t get wet because she didn’t have her water shoes on. She said, “But you could just wash these when we get home!” (my husband had let them get wet last week and he threw their shoes in the washer) She began leaping through the sprinklers, telling me she wasn’t getting her shoes wet, only her clothes, which was not the case. Her shoes were getting wet. I reminded her that she told me she didn’t want to get wet and that she didn’t want to wear her water shoes, so she could not get wet. She continued to leap through the sprinklers telling me that she wasn’t getting her shoes wet. She was almost soaked from head to toe. I got upset and I told her if she kept leaping through the sprinklers we’d go home. She stopped.
A little background for you to have all the facts: at the beginning of summer, one day when we went to the park, the sprinklers were on. She didn’t have water shoes on. I hadn’t bought water shoes back then and I told her, “Mama wasn’t ready for the sprinklers to be on. I’ll have to buy water shoes for you but you can get wet.” The shoes ended up smelling so bad that I had to buy new ones. I didn’t know at the time that if I threw them in the washer that would get rid of the smell. My husband discovered that little trick.
Now I’m wondering if I was either too harsh or too lenient about yesterday. Too harsh because she’s right about putting the shoes in the washer. Pretty soon, it will get cold here and the sprinklers will be gone and we’ll be indoors a lot more. Or was I too lenient in letting her wear her regular shoes to begin with, knowing well that she would not be able to resist wanting to get wet? I also wondered if this was a good opportunity for me to show her an instant of me adjusting to something and showing her that I can be flexible and that things don’t have to be so black and white. Why is this parenting thing so hard?!
Answer
You were neither harsh or lenient - You handled a natural consequence in a great way. You were clear from the beginning that to get wet she needed water-shoes. Since you had set that clear parameter it was wise to handle it the way that you did
Should you have thrown the water shoes in your bag even though she said no...Maybe, her social development is not yet able to make that far in the future decision of thinking about whether or not to get wet later. To make that decision she needs the high level skill of future planning, to imagine IF she wants to get wet. She also needs the high level skill of impulse control if she doesn't get wet when the sprinklers start.
Let this one go. It's both a parenting WIN and a parenting lesson.