My children started virtual school last week. Last week before they began, I cried because I was thinking about what they are missing out on. I remember 7th and 10th grade and what it meant for me.

But there's an important rule in parenting; separate your past from your children's present. Try not to project your feelings onto them. My sadness last week was me projecting my past experiences on them.

“Separate your pasts from your children’s present. Try not to project your feelings onto them”

I meditated on these emotions and ideas and reminded myself that they have their own story of middle and high school. Their story will be the story of living through a pandemic while going to school. I recommend that we all hold this in mind while we live through this time.

Also it is important for all parents to have one guiding principle this entire school year:

“Let it Go”

The “it” changes quickly depending on the hour and the tasks but here’s a short list of things that you may want to let go of:

Perfect handwriting
your child wiggling their body in front of the computer while they work
whining or stumping away “if” they are whining or stumping while they are following your rule
all As in all subjects (btw this should never be a thing)
hoping your teen likes and agrees with your rule and boundary - if they are following the rule while rolling their eyes “let it go”
filling every single hour with an activity - boredom is the catalyst of creativity allow boredom at home
for those of you addicted to checking the parent portal hourly, stop. Promise yourself you will only check it on Tuesday. Why Tuesday? Because it gives time for the teacher to put the grades of the previous week in and keeps you from micromanaging your child’s work.

This is a short list but it helps you see that some battles, especially when your child is following the rule while simultaneously expressing their emotions are not worth having.

Here's to an imperfect, messy, and uncertain school year. I promise we will go get through it!

Follow Lina Acosta Sandaal on Instagram @parentingexpert. See stories where she shares her experiences as a mother and a parenting expert.