How to Make Decisions on Extra-curricular Activities?

One of the most popular questions in our online parenting support membership and in parent consultations is how to manage after school activities. Here are my suggestions in how to think about them and how to make choices around them:

Anyone under 5 years old

They do not need extra curricular activities, they need to PLAY PLAY PLAY, free play. So for the little ones extra curricular is not necessary, especially if it will create stress for you and the family. School is enough in this age group.

If you need to leave them, due to your work schedule, it is fine for them to stay in after care at school. It doesn't hurt them.

For kids 5-7.5 -

Expose them to different activities. Do the ones where you are only paying 4 classes at a time so it doesn't become a financial burden. The task at this time is to expose them to multiple extra curricular activities so they discover what THEY love and want to do extra of.

For the ones that are hesitant to go, because they have a hard time joining new groups, its letting them know that the extra curricular is a way to practice being in a new group and a way to experiment on what they may end up loving to do outside of school. Don't ask them if they WANT to go, take them. I do not recommend doing more than two days a week of extracurricular activities in this age group

For kids 8 and older

This is the time when they finally lead you. They will tell you “I love soccer not art.” This is when you follow their lead because if you did the previous phase correctly they will know by this time what extra curricular activities feel like:

  1. Doing something you love outside of school

  2. Managing the frustration of learning something new and not knowing how to do it the first time

  3. Sacrificing free time to play

***These three points are the main reason why anyone younger than 5 does not NEED extra curricular activities.

Overscheduling and/or pressures a child experiences with extra curricular activities takes away all the benefits of the activity. Take these age appropriate ideas into account in making your decision.