Question
One of my sons is enrolled in an art camp that he thrives in, doing something he loves and is successful at. His final piece for the end of year school art gallery was amazing and I’m pretty amazed at his talent. However, he is telling me he doesn’t want to go to art camp. When I ask why he says he needs a break from the school environment, wants to have play dates and do other things over the summer. We opted to put them in camp for the sake of routine and all the construction taking place in our home will continue for another month. He is with different kids now, a few older that he doesn’t love, one younger that he tolerates, and another whom he had a tough time with over the school year but given how small the group is they are getting along quite well now.
He still collapses when I pick him up each afternoon, he’s belligerent and nasty at times and I would guess masking is really exhausting for him. His 8th birthday is right around the corner so I know that also makes him excited and nervous and filled with anticipation.
What do you think?
Answer
He is asking for a break because like you said above, he has to mask so much of who he is that it is more work than rest. It also sounds like the social aspect which is so difficult is even harder because there’s no one there that he actually knows and trusts.
It is important to speak to him and let him know that you understand that for him, summer camp needs to be fun and restful but that you also have the goal of maintaining the routine.
Then ask him how he sees the summer months?
How does he see maintaining the routine since there’s so much construction in your home and try to come up with a solution together to see how he responds. It is important for him to understand that you understand he has a point of view and that you’re working together.
Is summer camp absolutely mandatory for children?
No, not necessarily.
Actually, there’s a lot that can be gained from resting and playing and being creative and this is especially true of a child like your son.