Question
My daughter has started obsessing over the idea that she is fat. She has gotten chubbier over the last year (losing that little kid skinniness) and to be honest I am surprised this hasn't come up sooner. She asked me last night if she was fat. I told her that all bodies come in different shapes and sizes and that she is healthy and perfect the way she is. This is a slippery slope and a trigger for me as I went on my first diet when I was 10 and struggled with disordered eating for most of my life. I am very careful to never say anything negative about myself in front of the girls. I told her we can work on eating healthier (we eat healthy but she is definitely lacking in protein and vegetables) but anything else I can do?? I am a runner and try to set a good example but also want to be very careful with this.
Answer
Your daughter is old enough to have a frank conversation with her about how diet culture and body image can make us self conscious the way she is feeling.
This weekend in a calm loving moment ask her:
What made her wonder if she was fat?
What does she see in movies, books, TV that gives her an idea that any type of body is good or bad?
Talk to her about what you think about diet culture with all its rules and how you feel about it. BOTH what confuses you and what has helped. Be honest in an age appropriate way.
Let her know she can check in with you when she wishes and that the two of you will work on health and not a body shape or weight.
Hope this helps.