Question
During weekdays, if my daughter is done with all of her schoolwork, is it appropriate to allow her to call her friends?
Part of me wants to say yes, she has earned the social time. But part of me wants to say no, as sometimes I feel like she rushes through homework or practicing piano just to get to the call. And perhaps the time at home is an opportunity to work on other things, since she got social time during the school day… Or has she?
I think part of my issue is that when she calls her friends, they zoom and play Roblox together. I think I would feel differently if it was just a call to “gossip” (sometimes it is). My boys are not allowed any iPad time during the week, so it’s difficult for them to see their sister using hers. But I have also explained that she is a different age and not all the rules that apply to them apply to her, and vice versa.
What’s your recommendation? Thanks!
Answer
Social time is part of emotional health for children aged 10+.
Today's generation of kids meet virtually and do both - play and gossip. It is their version of a phone call or a meet up at the mall.
I like what you are telling your boys; that is perfect.
If she has done all her responsibilities then I would recommend letting her spend time with friends, even if she rushes her homework. But make sure it is a specific amount of time.
Your daughter is not being social all day at school. They only have time to be social at lunch and at recess, the rest of the time they are being led to do activities that have been planned by an adult. Also you do the teachers a favor by letting them get their social needs out of their system so they don't have to steal the time at school.