Question
How to proceed with my 8 year old who lately has been waking up multiple times throughout the night - 1:30am and 4am as of two weeks ago, almost every night of the week. Insomnia? She tends to be on the anxious side so I asked her if she was worried, anxious or had a nightmare, to which she replied No. Nothing is happening at school that worries her, either. She used to come into our room and wake us up and get into our bed, and I told her not to, so she stays in her bed. She cuddles with our dog and we told her if she was having a hard time falling back asleep to get a book and read, wanting her to self-soothe. Again, she says she wakes up thinking about “nothing” and nothing is worrying her. The only thing that has changed in the last month is her getting Covid. I’m also waking up multiple times checking in on her. What to do … how can we guide her back to the great sleep she’s always had?
Answer
The trick to healthy sleep is consistency. Her brain is waking her up because sometimes our nervous system is active in our dreams. The same heart palpitation and fast paced breathing happens in a dream and boom, we wake up. A lot of people do not remember what they were dreaming. So if she is telling you "nothing" then believe her. What is probably happening is that she is having the physical manifestation of anxiety in her sleep and that is what is waking her up.
So what to do:
First - Prevention:
At bedtime add a body scan meditation for her to listen to and calm her body before bed. You can use the app Insight Timer which has great body scan meditations. You just use their search tool and look for "body scan meditation for kids" and some will pop up. You can also get the Smiling Mind app which is a meditation app for kids.
After the mediation: tell her to speak to her brain in a simple mantra like "brain don't wake me, body stay calm, all is well, I can sleep"
This preventive ritual you will repeat from today moving forward....
Second - in the moment when she wakes up go to her - don't ask “why?” nor “what are you afraid of?” Just say "oh oh, your body and brain are not calm, lets calm them"
Tell her to tense her muscles up REALLY TIGHT and release.
Do that three times.
Tell her to lay down and that you will breathe and calm your body so her body and brain can follow...
Do this until she gets back to her non-wakeful nights.
Unfortunately with sleep it is the consistency and repetition that helps the brain calm down.
You will probably have more wakeful nights for at least a month...wish I had better news.