Question
My daughter is 7 years old, and I am trying to understand how to handle "that's not fair!!". This statement comes up at least once per day and it can be about me, her friends, anybody. Mostly her friends though... I try to acknowledge the disappointment, and that her friends' parents handle things differently from our family and that our family has its own rules.
But it doesn't seem to resonate... Thanks in advance for the guidance.
Answer
Unfair with her friends is her trying to understand the social world and social rules. This one is handled case by case depending on what "unfair" event happened with friends.
In her age group the unfair interactions between friends are:
1. A person who they always played with is now playing with another child.
The Lesson to teach them about social norms and rules is to let her know we can have more than one close friend. Then help her think of other children she can play with when she feels left behind by a close friend
2. A friend has something they want.
This is a lesson in handling jealousy. To learn to manage jealousy is to wonder if we are willing to do what the other person did to get what they have. This helps us get into action rather than getting stuck in jealousy. Remind your daughter of this solution.
If she is sad, disappointed and mad, that is okay. You don't have to make her happy. You just have to be clear on your rules and the reasons for them.