Question
My toddler son is doing an excellent job of being two years old but we are at an impasse with shoes. His favorite pair he outgrew and they no longer make them. We talked about it and said bye bye to his shoes and talked about new ones. He refuses to wear anything but one pair he has; they really aren’t play shoes. When those are wet we are screwed. I have ordered three pairs for him to try and are similar to his old ones but again he refuses.
What to do?
I’m holding space for alllllll the feelings here but at the end of the day this kid needs to wear shoes.
Answer
This is one of those moments where #embracethetantrum is in order
First when you don't have to leave the house and you are calm for the next three weeks, you create a game called let's investigate the shoes:
You pick one of the shoes you got and you put the shoe on a stuffed animal. You put it at the bottom of a chair leg. Etc. You do that first and then you say your turn. Then put the shoe on him
Then forget about it until the next day.
In the moments where you have to leave, you gently tell him you know he doesn't like them but there is no choice and then you put the shoes on the crying baby. In his age group once the shoes are on, quickly move on to the next thing that is supposed to be happening
The mixture of the game and the certainty that he has to wear the shoe no matter what - will eventually meet in the middle. BUT it will take time and tantrums hence the #embracethetantrum tip.