Question
All of my son’s friends at school have some type of gaming system. We have been really firm about not introducing this into our home mostly because of safety. I have done a lot of research and the compromise for me would be an older version like a PS1 that does not have internet connectivity or the ability to disconnect it when games are not being downloaded.
That aside, our main concern is that he has a tendency to fixate when he likes something. It could be anything really. Right now he is really into drawing and he’s blowing my mind with what he is expressing through his art. This is great but this is his way… all or nothing. I am worried if we allow video games in our home this will get out of hand really quickly. We have no designs on him having access to Roblox/Minecraft or similar as in our minds that is way too dangerous but I also worry about how addicted he might become to gaming. He’s getting older, it’s getting harder to allow him to flourish and his brain to do what it does and keep him safe
Answer
Your prone to fixation son just needs the screen and video game to be placed in the routine at a predictable time and predictable minutes of time. At first he will melt down but if it's in the routine no matter what and with the same timing he will get used to it.
Video games are not "bad or good" they are yet another toy, learning opportunity and impulse control building activity.
I do not recommend getting him an original Nintendo because then you will fixate him into wanting a new one.
If you get a Switch or any other device. Read up on the games on Commonsensemedia. Figure out a time in the routine when he will use it and keep it at 30-45 minutes to start for his age group.
The video game IS NOT TO BE A REWARD OR A CONSEQUENCE- never ever. It cannot be associated with pleasure and special because then it attains more power than it needs to. It is just one more thing he does like eating, playing, and moving.
Since you are entering this phase of childhood take a look at this book. It's the only book I recommend on screens:
Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World