Question
How should I handle when one of the kids gets more of something than the other? One of my sons gets jealous and asks his brother to give him more so that they have the same amount or the same stuff, it could be favors or egg hunt or anything. Also how to handle my son not being nice to another kid in school, for example grabbing something that belongs to them or writing in their notebook. He does it to be funny and I tell him if he would like somebody else to do that to him, he says no and then I say then do not do it to others, but it keeps happening. What else should I do? Thanks!
Answer
Both of these examples are ways he is not able to tolerate jealousy and envy.
You don't have to fix it or change how much each of the siblings get. If they decide to split it up evenly then that is up to the two of them. Feeling jealousy and envy is normal for young children.
All you have to do is name and claim the jealousy and tell him how to handle it.
In the moment you say, "you're jealous, take a moment to wait for that feeling to pass. Then we can come up with a plan".
Later in a quiet moment help him by going through these questions - which helps ALL age groups manage jealousy and envy:
What did they do to attain what they have that you are envying and feeling jealous about?
Are you willing to take those same steps and actions as they have?
If yes, what is the first step you will take to attain it?
If not, what can you do to fulfill for yourself what you imagine they have?