Question
I have two questions.
1. My son has a hard time playing by himself and coming up with ways to entertain himself, he says he is bored, he says he doesn’t know what to do, I give him options and he doesn’t want any of them and just gets upset saying he doesn’t know what to do.
This happens when his brother is not available to play, he could be sleeping, and I am also busy doing something so he has no one to play with. He ends up turning on the TV but I worry he doesn’t feel comfortable playing by himself. What can I do to help him?
2. My other son has always been super independent and a “I do it myself!” type of kid since he was a baby, but for some time now he has been asking me to do things for him, dressing him, putting on his shoes, washing his teeth.. things he knows how to do himself but he says he WANTS me to do it, I give them imaginary points when they do things by themselves but most of the time he still wants me to do them for him. I think he is just being lazy.
How concerned should I be about this?
Should I stop helping him even if he gets upset?
Answer
Question 1:
When he is in a happy joyful mood, create a list of games and activities he can do alone. Then when he tells you he's bored you say “check your list” give him the list and a hug and walk away.
It’s not that he can’t play alone. It’s that he is overwhelmed with emotion when he tells you he is bored. Also this is normal for young children.
Question 2:
Don’t be concerned- this is his way to get love and connection from you. Children see daily tasks and care as love. Don’t stop helping him especially since you know he knows how to do it. Just name and claim it and say “you know how to put on your shoes silly, I think you just want my love and attention.” Then kiss him and help him and on to the next thing.