Question
I wanted to know how I can help my son to make new friends without my help
He is very social but he is very attached to his friends so if he is in the park and there is no one he knows then he sits next to me and does not want to play at all.
I always said.. go and find new friends but I guess he gets shy because he doesn’t do it.
He says “ and if they said they do not want to play with me?”
I always respond , “that is okay , you just go and ask someone else. “ But he does not do it. He says that I have to go with him .
so I need to go, introduce myself and myself to other kids and ask if they want to play together. After that he has the best time ever with his new friends. I just feel like now that he is 5 he can try and make new friends without my help , but how can I encourage him to do so?
He does not take rejection too well so perhaps that is the reason why he is shy at the time of asking kids to play with him. What do you recommend?
Answer
What you are doing is correct BUT let him know that you are both working on helping him "break the ice" with new possible friends. Tell him that for the next month you will practice with him in the car on what to say to another child but at the park you will only stand with him while he speaks.
You will have to repeat this often and be willing to stand next to him.
The first ten times you tell him in his ear what he can say.
The next ten times you stand next to him in silence. It could take up to a month for this to shift.
Also speak to his teacher at school to find out how he manages "breaking the ice" to play at school. They will probably also have ideas on how they help him.