Question
As my son goes through several tests (ADHD, Ados, and who knows what’s next) he’s asking why? As of now, the only thing I’ve said to him is “we’re doing this to see if we can help you feel more comfortable and see if maybe you can get that help in therapy…” Is that the direction I should take?
If he is diagnosed with XYZ, should I not mention it to him?
Anything I should know in preparation?
What if he has XYZ and the doctor tells me right in front of him?
My son is sharp and listens to everything. My husband also believes we shouldn’t discuss any diagnosis in front of him, which I do agree with. I just want to be prepared for whatever happens next. Thx.
Answer
The best course is to tell your son their diagnosis.
It's better to know your brain has a way of being that makes some of the things people label as "bad" or "weird" than to think he is "weird, bad or different".
When a person has the WHY of what is happening to them then they can take the actions, manage the frustration of dealing with the diagnosis, and help others understand about themselves
Yes, the world has a stigma around XYZ diagnosis BUT you and your family do not need to perpetuate it by also keeping a "secret" about his diagnosis, from him or from anyone.
If he had diabetes no one would wonder if you would tell him and help him manage it.
We are only as healthy as the stories we tell ourselves. The story around whatever XYZ diagnoses he receives is up to you and his father. It is also the story he will tell himself.
I am here to help as well...
Also, use your doctor's expertise, she has explained the diagnosis to children hundreds of times. Use her.
Sure you can sit with her alone first if you wish but she can explain to your son as well.
I can too if you wish to set up that session once you get the diagnosis.