Its been a long year for all of us. The globe has been dealing with the ups and downs of a pandemic. Our brain has been on high alert for a year plus whether we admit it to ourselves or not. A brain on high alert causes all of us to feel overwhelmed and tired. A hyperaware brain will either react in a rigid way or a chaotic way. Rigidity looks like trying to control all aspects of your day, routine, work, what you look like and it makes you feel irritable if things don't work out just right. Chaos feels like being forgetful, not knowing where to start, and feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
“If you have been a bit more rigid then your children may be pushing back with challenging behavior. If you have been a bit more chaotic then your children may be acting extra clingy.”
Whether rigid or chaotic, neither one of these work well when taking care of our children. If you have been a bit more rigid then your children may be pushing back with challenging behavior. If you have been a bit more chaotic then your children may be acting extra clingy.
If you're feeling irritable and taking on a rigid stance, slow down, honor that its your way of managing this past year and look for the strengths in your response of managing the world around you as best you can. Then sit down and wonder where in the routine can you be more flexible. Assess your daily routine and figure out where you will be flexible with choices that your children can make for themselves (i.e. getting dressed in the living room instead of her room, using a red plate instead of a blue one) and where choice is not an option.
If you're feeling chaotic and stressed take a moment to process what has scared you the most this past year. Notice and access what you were right about and what was just fear taking over. Then work on your routine, values being taught, and consistency in response to your children. Get on the same page with all the caregivers that help you, to make sure you are responding with consistency and you stick to a common routine, rule and values pattern
Breathe and pace yourself, it is important to know that getting up and out of the effects of the past year and half will take time. Be patient and use the tips above and things will slowly change