Question
We are in the process of touring elementary schools in our area. They all seem great, score 8s or 9s on Great Schools but what questions should I be asking to determine what would be the right fit for my daughter? Should we also look at Charters?
Answer
It is important to let them know that you are working on her emotional regulation and understand she needs support, ask them how they manage students who may need support with their emotional experience, how do they handle discipline and if there are school counselors and specialist in social emotional development that can help and guide both the students and the teachers.
You want to know classroom ratios of student to teacher. A large classroom (more than 18 with just one teacher) can be awful for your daughter.
Question #2
All public schools in our area are a 25:1 ratio and our plan is public as many have excellent rankings. Knowing this I am quite worried about your comment above that more than 18:1 would be awful for my daughter.
Answer
A public or charter school does not have to make accommodations for a student IF they don't have an IEP. Students and families follow the districts and the schools directives and systems, not the other way around.
For a student to get the individual needs they may require like class size, teacher style, discipline that works for them, in a public or charter school there has to be an IEP.
Sure, you can look around and hopefully find a generous principal, BUT if you don't have the scaffolding in place your child suffers while they learn to support them.
When a parent knows that their child needs support and they wish for their child to attend a public or charter school then the appropriate action to take is to start the IEP process.
Here's what the Dept of Ed writes about the process:
https://www2.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html