Question:
I have a few questions for you today! The first is about weaning my daughter, she is 2 and a few weeks old. I am feeling really ready to stop, but she doesn’t seem to be on the same page as me. We recently had some transitions happening with child care and my husband was gone for a week, so a plan that I had started went sideways. With my other child, I did day and night time separately but I think that was harder to understand and took a long time, so I’m wondering what is the best way to wean all-together.
Next question, because my daughter has been nursing, we have coslept since she was a baby. I would also like to transition her into her own room. I don’t have a time agenda for this, should I wean first?
Final question, my other daughter has also gotten into the habit of sleeping in our bed. She can start off in her room, but she wakes up around 12-3 screaming at me. I don’t want her to wake up my little one (for more nursing), so I just have her get in bed with me. She is then like white on rice on top of my body and even with all the love in my heart I can’t take it any more. I have not slept in like 5 years, how do I get everyone in their own room?!? Should the girls share a room? That’s all… thank you!!!
Answer:
I always recommend sleep changes to be done last since it can be so difficult for both child and parent.
Weaning a baby takes time, sounds like you got it right with your first daughter.
First, if you are still nursing her for food or with food, stop. Buy her a sippy cup and give her liquid that way. This one is pretty easy to give up since she is eating solids and probably is full and only using nursing to soothe.
When thinking about weaning a toddler the second thing we take away is any use of your breasts as pacifiers. If she is upset and is asking to nurse then you say "oh you're so upset, mommy will give you a hug, no nursing" ( use the word you use for the breast). You keep doing this until she accepts the hug instead of tantruming for your breasts. You will need to #embracethetantrum for a minimum of 3 weeks, or worst case scenario 2 months.
After she stops using your breasts as a pacifier, then the final frontier is bedtime and overnight feeding. First, you take away the overnight nursing and the LAST one you take away is the one that helps her fall asleep.
This process can take up to 6 months, but it is the kindest and best way to go.