Question
When my 4yo son goes to school with his father, he walks right into the school/classroom, but when he goes to school with me, it has taken up to 30 minutes (usually like 10/15 minutes) to get him inside the classroom. He has always been more attached to me. His main reason for not wanting to go inside the classroom is because he wants to be with me. He has used the word scared, but I don’t think he’s scared in the traditional sense of the word. Thanks!
Answer
Drop off at school gets easier when the parents dropping off is consistent in how they say goodbye
Since his father is being successful I would advise to do what he does at drop off. Ask his father what his pattern is and follow that exactly.
Your son will cry and protest to you since he is used to you changing it up or giving him more time but that is probably the issue.
Leaving a crying 4 year old with a teacher is not bad or cruel. Especially if the teacher is loving and ready to soothe him. This actually builds safety at school for your son. When you stay with him, you give him the message that only you can soothe him. If you tell him “yes you’re sad but your teacher will help you feel better” your son then learns to lean on his teacher rather than you.
Predict for him that you and his dad will do the same pattern at drop off. Let him know he is learning to be a student. Tell him you know it will take time but you believe in him.