Question
I want to ask you about dealing with scare/excitement induced stomach pain.
My 4 year old would say she has stomach pain from time to time, and recently, she verbalized that when she is scared of something/someone (unfamiliar adults in general) or excited about something, she would have a stomachache. The pain, from what we can see, isn’t bad, but it is obviously bothering her and hindering her. This leads us to believe that this explains why she does not eat well in front of unfamiliar people and cannot speak in front of others.
We wonder how we can help her manage this? What are some skills/techniques we can equip her with to manage this feeling?
Thank you again!!!!! Really appreciate all your advice!
Answer
Tummy aches are very common symptoms for anxiety. It is one of the responses to manage fight, flight, or freeze of the nervous system.
It is important to begin a breathing and meditation practice with your little one to try to balance out her autonomic nervous system. The most important thing to remember is that logic and reasoning with language does not work with an over zealous nervous system that creates this type of anxiety. Learning to calm the body when feeling the signs of anxiety, like a stomach ache is the key.
The good news is that she recognizes the physical sensations of fear. This is great. So the same *dragon breathe idea that I have mentioned before works here too.
Look for mindful programs for children in your area. Also, it won't hurt to have her evaluated by a psychotherapist in your area as well.
*Dragon breath exercise: a deep breath in through the nose and forcefully exhaling through the mouth, making a “ha” sound.