Question
My 27 month old absolutely refuses to go to bed. She is so overtired-not napping and fighting unbelievably. It has gotten to the point that we have to zip her in her tent around her toddler bed. I feel awful doing this, but she ends up asleep within ten minutes. She refuses to let me read to her, or do puzzles or Legos, all things that we have done forever in her routine. She grabs me and pulls me out of the room. She puts lights on, throws books and puzzles, screams “ No bed”. I have tried being firm, picking her up, telling her it’s bed time and I will see her in the morning. I have tried the routine in the living room where she pulls me. I have tried laying with her. I’m at a total loss! Please help!
Answer
The key to bedtime is consistency, no matter what the child does. Based on your description, you have not been consistent. If she pulls you out of the room, bring her back, no need to be mean or overbearing, just telling her "no, it's bedtime" and turning off the lights and being next to her is enough.
The crying, screaming, pushing back is her emotional and over tired response, that is not hurting her, so helping her stop crying is not the goal. The goal is being consistent and calm in your response. The response is "no, it's bedtime" no other words, just that. Then walking her back and staying next to her and calming your nervous system and body so her nervous system and body anchor into yours and calm down.
If you put her in the tent, let her know, I love you and your brain needs sleep...then stay nearby and just say "shhh..."
But the key is to be consistent, do not change this response for at least 3 weeks for your daughter to shift and get back to her sleep routine...
In the day time read her books about sleeping. There are lots of choices on books about sleep since so many little ones try not to sleep. You can also make her a book of pictures of her sleeping and all the different ways she has slept. In this book of pictures of her, you can tell her that everyone sleeps because our brain and our body needs rest to be healthy and to grow. She doesn't know WHY we sleep hence her fighting sleep.