Question
We've noticed that our 21mo has trouble staying in the same place for the duration of her meal. I know it's developmentally appropriate for her to want to get up and move around every few minutes. We've also really struggled with solids (she just started eating more than a couple of spoonfuls). She's on the low end of normal weight-wise and it hasn't been a problem to the pediatrician. I've tried the RIE parenting approach where if she gets up that means the meal is over, but then she's just hangry all the time and that + her already spirited-ness makes things just impossible.
We give her the choice of eating at her weaning table, toddler tower, or in our lap. Lately, she has been moving her table setting from her weaning table to the floor, laying everything out, and then going back and forth over and over again (she'll take a few bites here and there but still doesn't really eat). Do you think we should let her eat her meal in a few different places or should we help her learn the skill of staying put in the place where she chose to have her meal even if it escalates to complete disregulation and not eating her meal?
We were JUST celebrating her eating her entire meal in one place, and of course, it only lasted 3 days. I do think OT may have helped since I've wracked my brain and don't think we're doing anything differently.
At school of course she usually sits at the table the whole time, and when asked if she still wants to eat she comes back (which I have been trying). She doesn't always eat much there but she definitely eats more than at home. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!
Answer
Help her learn the skill of eating in one place by redirecting her back to her plate and place.
You can have two tables to choose from BUT make sure where she eats are places where she will eat in all environments. Eating food on the ground is not optional at restaurants or at a preschool so you’re setting her up for failure by not teaching her that we eat at a table.
The fact that she eats at the preschool table and redirects back easily is because she understands that there’s only that one option: when she gets distracted she gets redirected and she returns to her meal. At home it’s not working because she has many choices and an active 21 month old will go through all the options because they love to experiment and they love to do things in more than one way.
The division of responsibility between parent and child, the parent says:
When, what and where a child eats
They child says:
If they eat and how much they eat.
Following this division, then where she eats, is up to you.