How do I get my child back to sleeping in her bed after multiple disruptions in routine?

Question

I have a question about co-sleeping. Whenever we go to my mom's house, one of my daughters always sleeps with her grandmother and my other daughter with me. This tradition started during the pandemic when we were there for 6 months and then has continued every time we go back and stay with her. Our normal routine at home is that my husband and I trade off laying with the girls until they fall asleep. Fast forward to coming back after the holidays and the girls have been sleeping in our bed. We have talked about going back to their own beds like before and one of my daughters says she will do it but the other says she is not ready. My daughter, who said she will do it, doesn't want to sleep alone (without me or her sister) so we end up all sleeping together. How do I get my daughter who said she was not ready to go back to falling asleep in her own bed? I have never been strict about them coming into bed with us but just wondering how to go about getting her back into the old routine......thank you!!

Answer

The answer is gently but your daughter can't be the one who chooses when she returns to her bed. Unfortunately her nervous system will always ask for your nervous system to settle down and co-sleeping is an efficient way for her brain to settle to sleep.

So find a date, Saturday night is probably best, since there is no pressure about school the next day...tell her tonight we go back to the "old bedtime ritual"...you hold and stay with her as long as she needs you. Push through for at least three weeks and it will get back to the routine from before the holidays.