Question
Hello dear Lina Acosta Sandaal, loaded sleep question for you...
We have been sleeping rather poorly for the last 7 years. When my son turned 5 he finally slept all night in his own room, but then my daughter was born (almost 2 yrs ago) and I started to sleep in her room so everyone else could get some sleep. However, I kind of got stuck in her bedroom as she woke up so many times at night, we then moved her crib into our bedroom as we had to turn her room into an office (because of covid). So then my husband started to sleep in my son’s room as she was just waking up way too many times and sometimes stayed awake and he had to function for work.
It's pretty tough.
So well, since this week, we finally have them both back into their own rooms and the parents also have their own room back.
How do we go about training both kids to sleep again on their own in their room all night?
My son has been waking up every night in the last many months to go pee and then he can't fall asleep alone and he comes to our room or someone has to go to him. He falls asleep on his own about 50% of the time during bedtime.
My daughter needs to be held or I need to hold her hand to fall asleep while she is lying in the crib. When she wakes up at night she doesn't want to stay in her crib at all and I am too tired, so I sleep with her until the morning on a floor bed in her room. But she wakes me up like almost every 2 hrs once she wakes from her first long stretch. I am also very anxious about her jumping out of her crib and getting hurt now that I am not sleeping close to her anymore.
I think I will put the lower rail into front that I have so she can at least get out and not jump?
But then I am afraid she will go harass and wake my son at night, as his room is the first one she wants to go to in the morning.
I know, much going on here... Your advice is much appreciated. Thank you!!!
Answer
The key to sleep is consistency is in how you respond.
Based on your description there are multiple ways you are responding during her wakeful times.
It is important to choose one way to respond and stick with it.
Since you want them to stay in their room then the response to stick with is to walk them back to their room each time they wake. Hold their hand. Don't sleep with them.
With your daughter:
for three weeks make sure to not pull her out of the crib when she wakes up in the middle of the night. She will cry BIG LOUD AWFUL cries for at least 7 days before she accepts that you just pat her and shhh her back to sleep in the middle of the night. This is the hard part for many parents.
Also since you're in Miami you can reach out to https://www.lulisleep.com/
If you are completely overwhelmed. She is the ONLY sleep consultant I refer to.