Question:
I have a question about my 11 year old- I asked him if he was sad or nervous or excited to be leaving his current school and going to a new school and he replied he didn’t feel anything / he felt neutral. But, he also said he was mad because his father and I “are not on the same page”, his words, about the middle school options. This is because his father said he was going to go to the school that he got into, which is a charter school. I said he’s gonna go to that school, but if he gets off the waitlist for another school then we’ll have to talk about it further. So, if I understand correctly, he’s upset because we have different opinions on how we should approach the situation: his father has said you’re going to that school, and I have said we will see if another option comes along and we’ll talk about it if it does. So I guess the question is, 1, he has to be feeling something, right? and 2, why is he so upset that his father and I have different opinions on the matter?
Answer:
Your differing opinions about where he will go to school and the uncertainty of that is what is making him annoyed and uncomfortable. He can't settle into any feelings about the new school year since there is no specific choice of school.That is why you and dad not agreeing is what upsets him. Your lack of agreement puts his future in limbo. Which, as we all know, can feel incredibly uncomfortable.