Redefining Homework: Nurturing Skills Beyond Academics

Do you find yourself worrying excessively about your child's homework and academic progress? Multiple studies suggest that homework doesn't significantly enhance academic knowledge. It's time to shift perspective. Homework can serve as an exercise to help children develop essential social emotional skills like perseverance, navigating challenging tasks, and handling emotions.

Starting today, change the focus from merely completing homework to managing the emotions, restlessness, and lack of concentration that often make homework daunting. While the academic aspect is important, it's crucial to nurture social emotional growth.


A New Approach: Plan and Communicate

Begin by reaching out to your child's teacher and inquiring about the expected homework duration. How long should the homework take? Share with the teacher your intention to limit homework time to what they recommend. Emphasize that the primary goal is helping your child manage frustration and responsibility, using homework as a practice ground. This approach provides genuine insights into your child's ability to handle homework and their social emotional development.

Encourage the teacher to assess and grade the homework with the shared understanding that everyone is focused on improving your child’s ability to engage in learning while managing their social emotional challenges.

— Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA, LMFT

Encourage the teacher to assess and grade the homework with the shared understanding that everyone is focused on improving your child's ability to engage in learning while managing their social emotional challenges.

Executing the Plan: Homework Time Strategies

  1. Setting Time Limits: Implement  the homework time given by the teacher. Use a timer to establish clear boundaries.

  2. Dedicated Workspace: Create a distraction-free homework area with all the necessary tools. Avoid allowing them to do homework in spaces prone to distractions, like playrooms.

  3. Embrace Movement: Understand that fidgeting or restlessness can be ways for children to refocus their minds. Instead of discouraging it, when you notice them getting fidgety, practice deep breaths together.

  4. Maintain Composure: Ensure your own nervous system and mood remains calm throughout the process. When you feel tension creeping in, ground yourself by finding your feet, taking deep breaths, and releasing tension in your body.

  5. Outcome Flexibility: Regardless of whether they complete their homework within the time frame, put it away when the timer goes off. Explain that the goal is to manage their emotions and restlessness, which will eventually make completing homework easier.

Addressing Mistakes and Parental Involvement

Children often struggle with accepting mistakes, perceiving them as personal failures. When your child becomes frustrated, acknowledge their feelings, and give them the time they need to regain their composure before discussing their mistakes.

Children often struggle with accepting mistakes, perceiving them as personal failures.
— Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA, LMFT

In terms of parental involvement, rather than providing answers, guide your child to find solutions independently. Support them in planning and understanding their assignments, but avoid taking over the work. Assist with the foundational aspects of being a student without going beyond their current knowledge level. Remember, learning often involves making mistakes and learning from them.

Shaping Their Perspective: Grades, Assessments, and Tests

Teach your child that grades and tests are only a small part of overall success. While they matter, it's equally crucial to learn how to handle the emotions that come with learning. Emphasize the significance of practicing good study habits, taking responsibility for their tasks, and nurturing a way to tolerate the emotions that bubble up around school tasks.



Homework time doesn't have to be a daily ordeal. By shifting the focus from mere academic completion to nurturing essential social emotional skills and emotional intelligence, parents can transform homework into a more manageable and successful experience. These strategies, including weekly reviews and a holistic approach to grades and assessments, empower children to tackle homework with confidence and resilience, equipping them for lifelong success.